My reason to rejoice..

Just came back from church..hmm.. come to think of it, i've been a christian for almpst nine years if i didn't include the period i left.

I'm glad that i knew God at the age of 15, as growing up as a kid, i didn't have any friends except for one,a gal who kinda controlled my life, everything that i do or said was literally controlled by her.. she didn't allow me to have any friends as she only want me to have one friend..and that's her. Even my own pocket money, she took it and use it as her own..back then, i was a stupid kid, who didn't have any guts, no idea why i was so afraid of her, but apparently the 'friendship lasted till i was 14.. got stuck with her for 7 years... I still remember at the age of ard 11 i kinda knew i couldn't stand her but didn't know how to shake her off and when she came to my house to look for me, i hid in the cupboard as my parents weren't at home, she went off.. pathetic me..

We did a lot of stupid stuff during the teenage years, ran away from home, stealed & got involved in a fight. We were the notorious two in secondary school days, she was the cause of it.. she always get into trouble with the teachers & students and as i was with her, i would be dragged into it.. thus the whole class hated us, including students of other class, with same level as us.

The 'friendship' ended when i was 15, she was transferred to another school by her parents..phew.. i had only gain back my freedom. That very year i failed sec 3 and was retained, life from that year till 17, i had a tough time.. all the students hated me, by what we had done previously.. as i was kinda quiet and timid.. they literally stare at me and make stupid remarks at me, saying i was a "GiGi' ( Malay word for Rabbit teeth), laugh at my face every single day in school..One of my classmates would say that word out loud in front of me & repeat it again & again till i cried.. to them, bullying me was their entertainment. i had no friends..so i was a loner..Those days were miserable, i cried everyday..hated my life but apparently thoughts of dead never crossed my life.. i live because i live.. life to me had no purpose..imagine living a life 0f 15 years feeling so unwanted, ugly, useless and rejected by the world.. back then i would feel that my existence is extra and i only take up other people oxygen.

Life took out a different path when i was 15, the later part when the gal changed school. I was walking alone on Wisma Atria.. yep, since i had no friends, my entertainment would be taking bus till it's final destination and then switch on to another bus, repeating it again and again.. Haha, come to think of it now, i felt it was rather dumb, i can't remember what went through my mind back then. It was then i met 2 strangers who approached me, introduced themselves & invited me to their church anniversary celebration.. Yep, it was then Someone special had entered into my life and that is God..


Yup, my life had took a different turn, i have found my purpose in life and soon things turn out for the better..my Sec 5 school classmates treated me like one of them & i begin to have friends..and the rest is history..
Though i have to admit there are times i don't live my life as what a christian should.. but neverthless, after so many years and so many incidents and leaving church and coming back.. at the end of the day, i got to say, i can't live without God and i love Him..He's so real in my life.

I know there are many people against my church and have lots of negative comments.. well i don't blame them for certain incidents are true but neverthless i hope they would not link such bad incidents and bad behaviours of christians with God.. We christians are also humans as well, we don't live life that much of a difference with everyone elses, we study hard, work hard & loves to have fun as well..there's ain't much restriction being a christian.. life is normal like the rest.. we eat, play and talk like the rests. Just that we acknowledge the existence of God & love Him.. finding the true purpose of life..

Though being a christian is no bed of roses, problems still occur neverthless there's this source of supernatural strength that carries me through..

God is good all the time & all the time God is good!