Had a rather traumatic experience last night working at Grill..shall not go into details of it as no point re-filling the fears within me..

For the 1st time in my life, i broke down and was in a rather stone stage not wishing to recall of the incident but to just concentrate and do my bar well..

At that moment in time, i had kind of whallop in self-pity..so wanted everyone to stop work and just console me wanting someone to give me a hug & comforting me..it didn't happen,everyone was just busy..

Sam like a father, keep asking me to go home and rest and suggest to face up to the incident but i simply refuse to..

Can't believe on the same day.. i lose my tub top as well causing me to once again entertaining the fear within me and sitting down in a daze when i was ask to go home at 11pm.. seeing such a me, once again not willing to go home and move.. Sam had no choice but to relent and told me to change back and continue working...

Thinking back...it seems such a joke..what was i thinking..

I only manage to resume to my normal state when it was closing time as Desmond & Alvin conclude that all i had seen was just my illusion and nothing but an illusion as Des had went down to take the Napkins walk through the dungeon and seen nothing...

At that moment, i seem to behave so un-christian like.. God..help my fears..

When we were about to have our supper, Norin & Lihao came after having their dinner at Amalfi and gave their delicious cakes for us to share..so sweet of them indeedz.. fixed an appointment with them to go K box and Brewkz next month..

Was rather high on alcohol by the Logan Martini that Alvin had make that almost everyone was rather convinced that i was drunk and i seriously i wasn't.. i was just really high and "happy"...talking nounsense & laughing away though.. No i wasn't particularly upset, just tt i luv to drink corktail but not a gd drinker...

Alcohol only make your "happiness" temporary..it's not what pple so call an escape to their problems.. to which i recall knowing that 1 colleague tt i know in order to run away from problems had resort to drinking self-inflicting pain and smoking.. what a silly fool.. how i wish i can be of a help to this colleague, letting tis person knw tt there's a hope in everything situation.. to just be a listener & a fren..

On the way to work today, was reading this book by Joyce Meyer called "battlefield of the Mind"

And this particular chapter struck me of yest incident: "Self-pity"

Some lines to share:

"All you need to do is to listen to the thoughts rushing into your mind during such times and you will quickly realise how self-pity keep us in bondage"

"There is a true gift of Compassion,which is having Godly pity towards others who are hurting and spending our life relieving their suffering. BUt Self-pity is perveted, because it is taking something that God intended to be given to others & turning in on ourselves."

"Self-pity is supported by thinking only of us and no one else"

"It is amazing how easy it is to stay out of self-pity if we look at the other person side and not just on our own"

Truely.. i fall into this category many atimes...just like yesterday... in which i had mentioned above.. i could have just continue working & to stop thinking but instead i decide to sit down dwelling over it again & again and even getting upset over the fact tt no one cld just give me the attention that i wanted.. which is rather silly seriously..

Next time, when such thoughts fill my mind again, gonna pick myself up fast and do some happy stuff..

There's this chinese linein a childhood song: "..zhi ji tie dao, zhi ji pa" (translated as when u fall, u just got to pick yrself up)

Got to go to Grill and work.. Next morning got to crawl up of bed early to study for my Tuesday Performance Management Test..suppose to study today...but oh well..

Oprah's Gospel Brunch with the Legends

Oprah's Gospel Brunch with the Legends

Saw the above Video from my Fren's blog and decide to post it up insteadz.. it's a good one esp for Christians.. got quite a few familiar faces in it.

What goes through your mind first when u have a close shave with death..









On the way to office, while crossing the traffic light at City hall, as i was about to cross, firstly almost got hit by a man on the bicycle which caught my attention and before i know it, the bus driver accidentally step on his accelerator and move forward an inch only to stop in time...









I wasn't the only one who got a shock , there was another lady who walked a step in front of me and we stared at the driver, who apparently himself was stunned by his own action as he look out of the window..nope he did not apologise..









Overheard as the pedestrian who cross the opposite way a pass by me and said to her friend:"Did you see that, the bus suddenly move forward."









.......









Initially the only thing that cross my mind was a sigh of relief... but as i ponder about it, fear begin to fill up my mind..









What would have happened if the driver had stepped on his accelerator harder..









If i were hit, guess the greatest worry about leaving this earth is my mum, who's going to take care of her...









Oh well.. i shall not be so negative.. but the thought of escaping death at a spilt second does make me tremble... and totally distracted in concentrating on work..thus decide to blog it out and taking this time to cool myself downz..









Thank God for His Protection!!!









So Treasure the One whom you valued the most..









Joke of the incident: "Never have too much faith in the little green man "









On a Happier Note:









i receive my Certificate for Completing my DCCL last sun...

Finally the first step in my desire in learning Sign Languages, it's a pretty interesting one esp the

conductor of it makes the lesson a fun one to attend. So far have mange to learn the alphabets, numbers and basic greetings.

The next Course commences next month and it teaches more in depth of the different Sign Language and from this course onwards, at the end of it, got to pass the test in order to obtain each level certificate.

Facts:

Don't call the deaf, "Dumb & Mute".. the deaf are only hearing impaired, they basically can speak..

They understand your communication either by Sign Language or lip-reading..

They are not short-changed of life aspects, they lead a normal life like any individuals, going to clubs, dancing, bowling & etc..

Parents with Hearing impaired children should not treat them as Mentally impaired or a outcast of society, got to know of this sad fact from a classmates of mine, she's a volunteer of The Singapore Association for the Deaf.. there's only current 30 kids attending the school..and mostly are kids from Pakistan and etc..

SO which mean..it's either there are very few Deaf kids in Singapore or parents of these kids love their own face so much that they are not willing to accept their children are different and without consulting or thinking about their feelings and send them to a mainstream school.

There's nothing wrong with sending them to a mainstream school as there are many successful Hearing Impaired adults who graduate from there... however, everyone absorb differently.

Not all schools have teachers who knows sign-language.. and forcefully make them accept their short-comings and having a probability of getting outcast is not a good growing up childhood memory for them.

Sighz.. the thoughts of self-fish parents make me fed-up..

right now, whenever i am free, will try to practice the sign lanuguages.. not wanting to forget any one of it and most ultimately i aim to be a volunteer in either this school or be in the Ministry of Hearing Imparied in CHC.

Aiming to complete the full course by the end of the year.

Got to live my life not only for myself but also to be a blessing onto others..

Before Jan ends, got to blog down my resolutions/goals for this year:

1. To pass & score well for my 4 ACCA Papers this year.

2. To learn & finish all sign languages courses.

3. To excel at work.

4. Take up kick boxing or related exercise later half of the yr with my cousin

5. Learn swimming & cycling from June onwards..

6. To go for Holiday @ nearby countries with friends..

Shall add on if i plan to do anything new...

Last sat met up with Sotong family to have our yearly steamboat @ Auntie Mary house, arrived there late as i went to the office in the morning..upon reaching Senja LRT station, walked for almost 10 mins and couldn't find the block and decided to board a cab instead.. and guess what, the cab driver told me that the block is just 5 mins walk, ''-_-.. neverthless he drove me outside the block and i paid $2.80.. a nice cab uncle i must say cause the actual meter costs was $3plus.. and which cab uncle would bother about to drive a customer in which he could earn minimum amount from the boarding fees.

On reaching, the rest have already begun eating..wanted to post the food pictures but i only realised i plan to take photos of the untouched food until i have finish eating.. food is just such a temptation..

Auntie Mary as usual was so hospitable, continously topping up our soup and drinks.. and we have our much belated christmas gift exchange.. i Received from Maggie a Forever Friend Accessories Box, Vivien got a massenger, Mei Qi received a USB-port Aromatheraphy, Maggie-a pair of weekend tickets @ Cathay-a gift that i bought. We shared and bought a box of Bird Nest and 2 bottle of wines for Auntie Mary.

*absence in family: Shirley.. (P/s: gal if u read this post, maggie got for you a gift, it's with Auntie Mary)

We chatted and watch Tv @ her house till 5 plus 6.. and during this time as we plan to travel down to Brewkz to have our dinner and drink, we decide to jio some khakis along.. but only to be disappointed by Kent and Desmond..in which they owe us a treats.. next outing,drink is on u guys..

Before making our way down, we stop @ a pub along somerset by the name of No.5.. quite a good ambience pub with 2 storeys..a recommended place to hang out with friends.. planned to have my birthday celebration over there.

Final destination of Sat Night: Brewkz.. Quite a spacious place, Main courses and deserts was delicious.. their own brewed beer was nice,though i only drink a few sips due to don wish to drink too much.. thanks to Mei Qi with her staff discount of 50%, the meal was affordable..a good place to dine and drink with friends too..

Summary: It was a great day of laughter, hanging out, eating and drinking with them.. *5 star of enjoyment.

Oh well..it's time for me to touch my rusty blog once againz...

It's back to studying again after resting for half a year..

And everything oh well was messy & as usual i was a Blur Sotong..

Firstly, on realising i have not collected my textbook, i called up the school as to where is the venue i should collect from.

At around 6pm, watching as time pass by, i was basically rushing my work finish, pass by Grill & Amalfi to pass the relevant documents and rushing off in a panic as the supposedly collection point is SAA new City Campus located at Raffles Place beside Lau Pa Sat.. imagine the distance i have to walk.. i was panting like no body business on reaching... only to realise... the textbook are not available and all i need for my lessons are notes that would be distributed @ the lecture.

Thus, i have to take another bus to Tanjong Pagar @ Capital Tower for the lessons.. As it was my first place reaching there, i was kind of lost & unsure of bus to take and on boarding, all i bothered to ask was wherether it is the correct bus and somehow i walk towards the passenger seat and imagine my embrassement when the uncle ask me to Tap my EZ link.. sigh..

After walking & being lost for around 45 mins, i finally found the place.. Phew..

Conclusion: Almost fell asleep during the lesson 7 many atimes feel tempted to put my legs on the head of the seat in front due to the comfortness of sitting in a sofa..lecturer initially was boring but near towards the end, the illustration he gives get more & more interesting and overall give a clear understanding of taxation...

So it's gonna be studying all the way till May every Tuesday & Thursday..

Looking forward to tomorrow gathering with my Sotongs and going over to Mei Qi workplace to eat again in the evening and meeting Serene next Wed and meeting my group of close frens frm my prev cg next Sat evening..

Gonna update over here my resolutions for 2008 and the above events.


Sometimes it's so much better to have a simple life..
I detest the way i am @ work, having to be aggressive & demanding to get things done..
being too soft & innocent will only makes things worse..
Student life is still the best...