There are moment of times when problems occur all at once, i will start to question why my life is so tough, so different from the rest...








I was Emo-ing juz after a great bible study, very Ironic i know.. but some events took place after svc tt causes me to think & dwell as i walk back alone from the back of the hall to the Mrt station.. it sounds so pathetic even i am typing it out..




& i begin to question.. thoughts run like crazy in my mind..





"Just what went wrong?"...






"why do i feel i am back to my struggling past"







and like rubbing salt into a wound, it hurts even more as the station were full of groups of pple gathering & chatting away..



That sounds so totally the past me & seriously it can make anyone who's was in my situation to feel Lousy.





I am not doing a self-comparison & i hope that there will be no redundant mindset of others who never been through much in life to judge.









How much is much?


if i were to blog it out 1 a day, think i can blog about it for 365days man..





However, on a Happier note, i am back to my cheerful self, back to my optimisim...


As in previous prev entry, there's an opportunity cost.. i knw by constantly stepping out of my comfort zone, to take on a new job to wanting to score better for studies, to wanting to improve in my sign lang ( in regards to my prev post, yesh, i decide not to give it up no matter how tough it may seems, coz tt's my interest, though it's tiring but i knw i won't be happy if i were to postphone it) and wanting to help out more in cg... taking a new adventure means it definently not comfortable..

but nonethless, i do have my rest day, which is today, juz taking 1 day to slack, to rest & to reflect in order to continue to strive!






"Life is Full of never ending challenges" not a Quote from some famous personality but my own life personal quote..



It's all the matter of the mindset to how one view the challenge:






My first paragraph interprets that i had face it with pessimistic




but



















for the next few paragraphs, it's the contrast..



















So if u ever feel like giving up becoz challenges of life are overwhelming, don't u ever.. coz if a normal person like me who been thru much can overcome it again & again & again & again, so can u.






From being outcast, to extreme low self-esteems, to countless heartaches, broken frenships, broken trust, family to studies to work to financial problems to polictics.. been there, done that...


n somehow i have learnt not to worry coz i am assured tt God will not make me go thru situations that HE knows better is not what HE has intended to be.






Circumstances makes one grow stronger & change for the better..






Juz like last sun, after svc.. i bump into someone i hadn't seen for 3 years, someone who i had once regarded close to my heart, a once close buddy..




Just like someone u haven't seen for years, i wasn't surprised when he forgotten my name...i am glad we manage to catch up a short conversation with him knowing that we are in the same church & he's doing well & looking happy..






It's just amazing, looking back, those years it's so amusing, from Strangers, to Colleagues to Good Buddies to Strangers & now to Acquaintance..

Yet i am thankful & grateful that for the frenship we once had & it applies likewise not only to him but other frenships tt have faded along the yrs..

Cause i had learnt an valuable priceless experience, one that can't be bought with $, one tt can't be learnt be it Oxford, Harvard nor Cambridge Universities..







I guess one thing i learnt is that in life, u gain some, u lose some & guess that's where one learns to be strong & smarter..





Guess S'pore is really such a small country that somehow or rather, if u r like me, missing someone u hadn't seen for years, just wait barhz, it won't be long before u bump into a familiar face..





Just yesterday svc, i had also bump into another fren, we used to be in the same hang out group & we called ourselves, the Left mind-set pples... coz we weren't the usual typical mindset of christians, we Love God but we don't follow the minset nor do the things of a follower in the crowd...










Alas, apparently, this group of frens didn't last long as one by one of us left church, me being the first, followed by my then best fren & her bf.. only 1 remained.. i only found that out after i came back..







& yep, this fren i bump into had also left & came back now tt i see him in church.. didn't got a chance to catch up with him, but am glad now that he's back..








6of us.. 3 left.. 3 of us are back & i could hope for the other 3 in the near future to be back again & maybe we could have a gd old gathering, talking & laughing abt the pasts we once had..

















Back to my Buddy, thinking back, i was a real naive gal back then who believe life was simple, though my life already back then wasn't simple but i had a real simple mind..

















& so this simpleton, tis is what i had decide to label on the past me, so tt i will never be like that again.. only begin to Change & really changed from then, 3 yrs ago when the frenship ended to where i am right now..








Don't understand y a simple frenship could affect so much?







a line that my fren mention summarise it all:

















"It doesn't matter how long the frenship was, what really affects was what we had went thru"

















It was almost a real life drama tt can be written into a plot.. here it goes:

















* Characters names are Ficticious to protect the identities of the person*






Characters involved : Tini , Ion & Dy & Jr





Dy had worked in the group of restaurant years b4 when she was a teenager.. & now that she's in poly, in order to earn extra income, she decide to approach her former manager for a part-time job in the restaurant called LG.

















Dy had always wanted to work in tis Rest. as it seems to her, it's so cool & fun to work in the boat..& being a Waitress seems all so fun..

















Dy is a gal who suffers from poor extreme low self-esteem, she had bucks bunny teeth, small eyes & was very quiet..coz she keeps thinking nobody will listen to her if she speaks...

















but in this rest, she befriended lots of frenship with her colleagues as everyone was so funny & fun-loving & it's was at this time, she befriended T too..










Tini is a gal, who's cute or rather act-cute to all her opposite sex colleagues..& end up making majority of the guy colleagues to fell in luv with her..







Dy & Tini became BFF, sharing each other thoughts about guys & encouraging one another thru heartaches.. cause the silly Dy had fell for T'inis good fren Jr, who's another pt colleague..








Jr is a guy who's aloof or eccentric at times, keeping to himself when emo, a playful one too who likes to "bully" & "teases" all the female colleagues..

















D y naively had a strong one sided crush on Jr & got into constant extreme swings & got even worse when Jr knew abt it frm Tini... cause Jr had begin to treat Dy as Transparent @ work..








During these moment, a new colleague by the name of Ion came in..






Ion was not a pure chinese, he's mixed blood, though not extremely gd looking, he was a fun loving crappy guy who's well like by all his frens n though young, he had a mature mindset, encouraging those around him..

















However, as a typical guy, Ion fell for Tini....

















As Dy knew it, she tried to help Ion and the frenship grew.. coz Tini's her good fren & so she tried to help to bring I & T together...

















Along the way, Dy shared with Ion her probs & heartaches with Jr.. Ion was a great encourager & with him ard, Dy felt so comfortable & felt tt she found a fren who truly understands her & due to Dy's self-esteem, she had no close guy frens coz guys will not want to associate themselves with an unpretty chick even as frens..

















But Ion was different, & Ion treat her as usual & as their other personal probs were similar, Dy became unusually chatty with Ion & they decide to become Arh Buddies..

















Jr somehow too seems to like Tini but Tini had neither feelings for Jr nor Ion but another colleague whom Tini got crazy about.








But Tini had somehow led Ion on, giving him the false hope, making him fell seriously in love with her & Ion had really treated her real nice, all observed by Dy.

















Meanwhile, even out of work, Dy will constantly catch up with Ion thru Msn, & will chat abt everthing abt Tini & Jr..

















Eventually,Tini who's in love with tt colleague begin to give Ion the cold shoulder.. & he had to painfully let go. Dy's was disgusted & decided tt a frenship with Tini's was not worthwhile & decide to ignore her totally at work..

















Dy's was really upset to see her close fren Ion's so hurt, she became to spread word abt Tini's doing to the rest, making everyone almost giving her the likewise cold shoulder & eventually she left..

















A new batch of colleagues came in, & Ion due to his studies begin to work less, but the frenship still maintained & got even closer...

















but all goods things come to an end... Ion enrolled into army & maybe he had sensed Dy's slight feeling for him & he decide to ignore her totally...

















Nonethless, it was Ion's encouragement tt spurs Dy to put on braces & if tis frenship hadn't ended, she would not have learnt so much..

















Sometimes we will only wake up to our senses when we are forced to..

















And the rest is history.....

















Nice teenager story isn't it?

















It's amazing from how then, i decide to grow stronger in God, relying on Him, i had my fair share of trips & falls..

















so within 3 yearss.. i had changed from:

Spotted me? i am in the first row, on the extreme right to:

I won't say that i am a Da Mei Nu, but those years, i kept praying, kept on trying, n kept on changing:

I had only 2 main objectives:

1. i want to be Prettier
2. I want to be Smarter

It's an amazing journey, i know i haven reach the exact destination yet..

but i'm glad i had become prettier & am smarter, graduated with a Diploma & pursuing my Acca and in the Accounts field of work.

What cause the difference between pic 1 & 2??

Nahz, i didn't go for plastic surgery, i wish i had the $ to do so man, i would go for double eye-lids, sharpen my nose & enhance my assets..

the only thing i did was to put on braces.

so $$ invested in saving up for the braces was pretty worthwhile man.. so glad i did!

i used to have those big bucky bucks bunny teeth:

those yrs of not being close to my lips fully was madness..

Those verbal abuse days were so overz..

Ritez now, i juz want to be carefree, successful & happy!

and with guys, i am no longer that silly naive little gal who simply fell for any guys out there, my last failed r/s was the final episode of my stupidity of poor self-esteem.

Along Life's Journey, there are things u eventually got to let go in order to gain something HE has better for u.

We can be too short-sighted at times to truly be patient to see the Long Term plan, God has set for us..

We stumbled & we fall.. we kick our legs on the floor, wondering why HE can't pick us up immediately..

We cried & cried, we cried till our eyes are swollen, we cried to sleep & wonder why HE can't just take away the pain immediately.

We walk alone, we felt so lonely, we felt that there's no one to understand, no one is there to lift a hand to accompany us & we wonder why HE can't immediately take away the silence & tell us an immediate solution..

i am still in the journey to truly understand & appreciate.. no matter how smart we think we maybe or how talented we can get.. there's a God who knows better.

i don't know about u, i used to be someone who doesn't believe either & even in my christian journey, i constantly doubted too.. but HE constantly prove me wrong & change circumstances aroundz..

Will our lips only thank Him when life is good to our own definition? i may not understand y are things happening the way in my life in my job right now but i believe as i hold on, as i remain steadfast.. i will understand it in the near future to come..

i am still in the journey of change..

I Trust & Rely on Him alone.

Buddy, 我还是会对你说：“我还是希望你比我幸福，比我快乐

















Thus, i will live my life to the happiest i can be..

Juz came back from Jing Ying's 21st Birthday Celebration @ East Coast chalet.. it was fun n what stood out from the chalet was live performance by her & her frens.. 2 extremely good dancers n the Birthday gal, dancing n singing..

Yepz, it was indeed funz, guess the Birthday gal truly enjoyed herself.....

Have been pondering.. to those who knows me well should know that giving up rarely appears in my dictionary..

but today it probably will...

i am not giving up on my work neither my studies..

but a possibility of my sign lang..

surprise? i been thinking too.. Sign Lang was what i declared as my passion..

So what cause the change?

Guess it's my competitve nature.. after watching my classmates perform, after observing them communicate in sign.. makes me ponder.. n realised i am far lagging behind them,..

even the least performed classmate had improve tremendosly & me? due to my commitments in my work & studies, i never got much opportunity to practice at home n neither did i get to hang out with them more...


My weakness? i can sign of the words i learnt but when it comes to interpretating the sign lang of my frens n finger spelling is my fatal weakness..

Practice makes perfect i know?

Maybe i am just onloading too much load on myself..

I love my classmates, everyone of them.. frm strangers, all of us became frens when we had attended the first basic level..

giving up would means that i won't be able to meet up with them.. i am in a total Dilemna, i am only human.. can i really perform good @ work, in studies & Sign Lang?


Giving up is a pity.. cause i went thru all the diff levels but how much in the near future can i commit to it?

I am vexed..

Warning Alert:

a Boring Post below by a full of thoughts Composer:

I won't blame u if u read 1 paragraph n close this page.. so below u scroll further, pls be warned
or u can read it if u can't sleep..

http://www.straitstimes.com/Money/Story/STIStory_388769.html

A latest news announced in regards to CPA (Certified Public Accountant)

In the near future, at least 2 years from now, i forsee that i will post a photo of my Cert in my Blog, writing:

"Cheong Pui Kiew, Cindy

Certified Public Accountant"

If i can visualise it, i can achieve & will obtain it!

Gonna register for my 2 modules this coming sat.

Life is pretty back to normal these two days n i really kinda got used to my busy schedule the past few mths & i actually felt useless yesterday when i end up spending the time watching tv away in the evening.. guess i am juz too hard on myself..

Thank God working minimise that feelings, had spend the whole morning N evening at Client's place posting my Accounts..

When i first stepped into the area where it was located, i was thinking it would be just a tiny office like Lotus but apparently, Looks were Deceiving, their office was beautifully decorated with the aim of staff welfare @ heart, their pantry room even had a Flat screen Tv with Sofa, a very welcoming site.. n on to another client's place.. located at Odeon's Tower, the Company where Mei Qi is working.. guess this 3 years of working life, after not having a proper office to work at:

1st job, at some short building opposite TTH, though it's NHG, office look exactly like a Mortuary site, seriously i suspected, that could had been one, maybe before TTH renovate..

2nd: Lotus: Office located in a corner of a car park.. nothing more to elaborate..

Though my current office is not in Located in the CBD neither some big space, but the way my boss renovates it, really makes the whole office looks good, though small but very welcoming & comfortable...

On my new job, i heard of different opinions.. some were positive while some wonder why i did not chose to work in a big firm...

My reason? I believe there's a Pro & Con to everything in life, u don't get the best of both worlds or rather in every choice that u made, there's an opportunity Cost..

My opportunity cost? True, a Big firm may offers me benefits, better pay prospect n definently looks good in the resume.. n it's human nature to want to work in a big firm..

i want to work in a big firm definently, few years down the road & hopefully a Listed Company..

Small firms, they squeeze the best capacity of their staff, so that 1 person can do 2 person job..doesn't that equates 1 person knows the tasks of 2? isn't that call greater experience? it may sounds tough initially but isn't it better to learn when u just started work?

Big firms in Accounts are separated into different depts, & to gain experience is to change dept every few yrs but then again internal dept isn't that easy given the procedures involved.. an Accoutant needs to know the full set of Accounts..

So my aim was to start small & scale high.. to be an upgoing process.. Opportunities are higher , i mean is there such a thing such as give you High Pay & yet have to teach you like u r a fresh graduate..

We work cause we want to have good Pay from a Company but a Company pays u high if only u are Capable..

Currently, i look at the Intangible benefits.. tough it may seems, crazy it may sounds but it's really all worthwhile.. it would be sad if i start with a big firm for years & eventually lower down to a small Co. coz the former Co. is reducing it's costs..

Experiences & knowledge is an investment that every employee oughts to have if not when it comes to cutting costs,u be the 1st the Co. will think of.. Risks r still there but y not reduce it which one can..

While Benefits of a good firm may sounds good, more holiday, more entitlement of leaves.. bonuses n etc.. but allowing u to go on a long holiday also mean yr Co. can survive with or without your presence...

I know there's no such thing as an Invincible or fully Irreplacable worker, it juz my basis of Comparison for both:

I don't know about other but imagine working throughout your whole life as an employee of a Big Co. & then throughout yr presence didn't make a difference at all..

In the view of a workaholic, which i am.. it really does matters to me, to be recognised as an individual n not a face in the crowd in a Big firm..

came to this conclusion: if i were robbed of the opportunity to work or rather robbed of the opportunity of an achieving ability, life will have seriously no meaning for me..

. i can't forsee myself being a housewife taking care of children all day long, i respect women who does that.. but i'm self-fish, i will want to have my own life till old so there will not be a day where i live my whole life for my kids.. the thought of it juz freaks me out.. my future kids should have their own life when they're older n so does the parent..

it wasn't thinking i was not able to enter into one now but rather which one can give me a greater opportunity to learn... n it all depends on the industry...

Like my fren, who's having an attachment in the Hospitality Line, small restaurants is definently not going to give him the experiences & working in dozens of small restaurants is not gonna capture his future employer's eyes but rather an established F&B Company will, even if it means just working in one..

Reason: Established Players in the F&B industry ensure Standards n Consistency..

juz compare a Bar tender of a Geylang pub to a Bartender in let's say the Cliff by Sentosa Resort.. it's not the location of how famous the Co. may sounds, it's juz that in this line, contrary to Accounts.. experiences start by Big Firms..

whereas, in terms of Accountancy, it's the experience n well the Cert that counts.. all firms needs an Accounts Dept, the most basic: if not how are they going to see how much profit they have at every year-end. Look at their Bank Account? Add up to Total Invoices Send Less away Total Invoices received & the Nett equals to Profit? Managers or Directors making phone calls to chase their customer to pay? or Directors getting bugged by never ending phone calls from Suppliers?

What i m tryin to say is..whatever the size of a Co. someone that can tabulate earnings into printed figures is the basic.

Big firms emphasis is no one staff is Irreplaceable.. n biz are constantly on going.. which equalize to everyone are specialised in their respective duties given..

In Accounts, Experience is really everything.. n due to Controls in place, no one staff in the Co are deemed as Irreplaceable n so everyone are limited to their own dept & within tt dept, there will be more than 1 staff who knows a certain skill.. in business terms, this control is call Segregation of Duties...

Thus, how much can one really learn within that constraint.. Accountants will only teach new comers basic things like the Accounting software & helping to lessen their burden by telling u what to do but not why is it done that way..

N so those who charge of payment do posting of payment all the way n change dept wld means yr dept manager will rather not to as it will affect his/her work.

.

So how? Accountants are not born overnight...

To each her own: all i can conclude is, my perspective & mentality is not the usual face in the crowd.. i don't need others to agree with me cause ultimately it's my decisions made today that will determine the Future shaped..

Nonethless, Balance is still the key, while i may be "preaching" above, i am not that extreme worker that wants to work 7 days everyday or work 13 hours for 5 days every day.. i still want to have fun n enjoy life..

N with that, i am looking forward to my sign lang classmate, Jing Ying's 21st bbq @ East Coast tmr & my other classmates who will be performing a song signing for her.. i was suppose to be a part of it but alas due to my commitments i wasn't able to..

Hope to post some pictures about tmr in the next post..

EXAMS OVER! haha.. alritez, do be patient with me that it's gonna be a common slogan every middle & end of the year shout-outz for at least another year to Year Half.


Juz came back after having a great time of fellowshipping with my cg memebers.. had a Birthday Celebration for Martin & Edwin's Birthday celebration @ The Wine Company, as it names suggest it's needless to say why i like that place...

http://www.thewinecompany.com.sg/about_home.php.

N n i am totally in love with the place.. a great Suggestion by Zhirong...

It's located at Evans Road.. n me tis Toad in the Well seriously never heard of this place before till today.. gosh.. i m so Tootz.. had to take a Cab with my Cousin Sabrina from Newton to there.

Anyway i am gonna sounds a bit High in my blog coz i am just so happy that my exams are overz!

Comments of the Place, Reasons why one should like it:

1. For Tai Tais wanna Be like me, they serve High Tea in a Nice Ambience

2. Sipping away a gls of nice wine matched with the right pairing of Delicious plate of food.. *yummy*

3. Greatz hang out for Couples, Group of frens or with yr BFF, can chill & chit chat away

4. Nice Ambience, Wide Vartities of Wines to Choose from.. Food are Priced Reasonably, wines range from $30 plus & abovez..

What we had was 2 Bottle of wines suggested by Zhirong, 1 Bottle of Mixed Cabernet Sauv. & Merlot, a Full bodied wine which i pretty enjoyed & prefer in Comparison to the Chardonnay (for the 1st time though)

but sadly, as everyone had to rush off due to work commitment, including me, i wasn't able to drink finish my gls of Red Wine.. n i can't possibly do a take away by asking the waiter to put it into a Typical White Plastic Drinking bag matched with a straw.. Kekez.. i mean seriously have you seen someone drinking Wine in such a manner?! it's not a Ribena for crying out loud...



Wanted A Riesling but as it was much steeper priced, i could only Drink it the next time Round..


Waiting for my Fren to send me the photos so the pictures can do the Talking... the next time round, i wanna sit in the Al Fresco Area n Camwhoring away...

Came to the conclusion, i luv to splurge on Perishable Items like Good Food & drink n going to Diff. Restaurants, having a feel of it's ambience & tasting different food.. seriously i feel so Happy in eating good food & totally relaxed in a Well Structured & organised Restaurants. in comparison to buying branded stuffs..

Gosh.. think i got to earn big bucks to support such a lifestyle. *ponders*


On than the great wines N food ( i had a Prawn Linguine, which was totally awesome, i Luv Pastas!!), what was most enjoyable is the Company of frens nonetheless, i mean usually after church svc & cg, everyone had to rush off but today it was a great time of catching up & fellowshipping away.. wishing & Planning for more of such occasions.

Next Destination? Flutes anybody?? i hope my khakis -> my ex-colleagues are reading this..

We had been talking about going since a Decade ago.. but up till now not Crystalised..

It's gonna be back to work tmr N i got to dilute my Excitement so i can fall asleep..

Photos:

该不该搁下重重的壳

寻找到底哪里有蓝天

随着轻轻的风轻轻的飘

历经的伤都不感觉疼

我要一步一步往上爬

等待阳光静静看着它的脸

小小的天有大大的梦想

重重的壳挂着轻轻的仰望

我要一步一步往上爬

在最高点乘着叶片往前飞

小小的天流过的泪和汗

总有一天我有属于我的天

我要一步一步往上爬

在最高点乘着叶片往前飞

任风吹干流过的泪和汗

我要一步一步往上爬

等待阳光静静看着它的脸

小小的天有大大的梦想
总有一天我有属于我的天
任风吹干流过的泪和汗
我有属于我的天

It's not a random Mtv tt i decide to post, there's an underlying purpose to why it's here..

Gonna remain Uncontactable for a while,other than church svc.. till exams is over.. pls be patient with me for nt replying to the sms.

Time is a Crucial Factor for me..