Juz like PMS.. realised i get Depressed during the Exam season.. juz last yr exactly this time, i got extremely depressed, keep saying negative words, can suddenly cry after a few mins ago of laughter & can tear at the most simple event.. & guess tt's one of the main reason tt causes my broke-up with my Ex barhz.. Nahz, i am not Emo-ing, am glad & thankful to God tt it ended.. & i do not want to mention abt tt S*** ever againz..

Today it occurred again.. a simple event @ work led me to .... oh well, shall not elaborate.. am Glad that my Accountant was very encouraging & Optimistic & manage to cheer me up.. Thank God, she's not those that condemns me further or pull me down when i shared with her.. orelse i will feel even Lousier manz...

Got to emphasis, usually such event occured, i will tend to brush it aside & continue with my life.. but today.. Hmm..

Felt even more depressed after cg.. tried to figure it out as i walk back home & by doing tt, i felt even worse abt myself.. so decide to take my attention off myself & msg my fren, nt to complain nor lament but juz a simple msg to ask abt her, & msg in the usual happy & actual sincere words to my cg members.. & before i know it.. i am back to myself again.. no longer Depressed.. Kekez

So it's true, when Depression hits.. the last thing to do is to feel sorry for yrself, getting all upset.. wanting pple to pity u, get all their attention.. But Instead, try this, take your attention off yrself & msg yr frens to be interested in their lives, not a single word of "self" n do something nice for them...



it really works!

Alritez, i am never allowing myself to get depressed for more than an hour..

And it's back to my books againz!


An Overcomer, that's my Middle Name ..

can't believe right now, with my book opened, recorded lecture is playing on my laptop yet i am juz not studying..

Can't believe instead of focusing & writing down notes to maximise money spend on revsion & score well for exams, i actually find myself waking up juz now to find my left hand holding the pen, right hand with the recorder and fell asleep unknowingly..


This current Module is really the hardest so far out of the past few modules i had taken.. nontheless,i am not giving up..

It's really a challenge to be waking up in the morning to stay focus on work inclding clearing my worload to hang over, studying till late nite 1am to 2am plus, as my brain absorb the best at such weird hours, attending revision lectures and moving on to my new job next Monday & what awaits me next week other then a new Job more related to Accounts and staying attentive to attend a 5 day Revision lecture..

Gosh.. i had prayed for a greater Capacity and i guess this is part of the package.. Got to Emphasied tt i am not Complaining, it's just that i enjoy "Talking" out on my blog..

Planning to get a PDA Phone soon where i can blog on the go, read the newspaper, instored Bible while travelling to & Fro..

*Gambatte* Am Praying & Working hard to score more than a Pass for my these 2 Modules..

Wish me all the Best!

Saw this video on Rapper's facebook & i curiously viewed it..

Within minutes, tears whelm up.. it's so true.. Life is indeed a Train journey..

"There are others who board the train and eventually become very Important to us in turn"

"Some People will leave an Everlasting Impression when they get off..."

" We will sometimes get upset that some passengers whom we love, will choose to sit in another compartment of their ,leaving us to travel on our own"

"then again, there's nothing to say that we can't seek them out anyway"

"Neverthless, once sought out & found, we may not be able to sit next to them because that seat already have been taken"

常常都会问我自己，若这友情重来都没有结束，那现在会是如何？这答案永远都会是个未知束。。也许我会再遇见你可是我们心知，我们只会
微笑得问回答比此的客起的话。 就好像 Acquaintance..

I am not suppose to Emo.. it's just tt within my heart.. if a certain person had never unboard the train so fast tt was out of what i could expect..

Nonethless, i am Eternally grateful to Travel Companions that have held me up , lend a support when i needed it.. we may not travel in the same path forever.. when we eventually take on different Routes, i pray & wishes in my heart for the best of everything to be with you,, & if there's a chance where we meet up again... i will do what i can to Bless u back.. this applies to any specfic individual like the above.. but certain Individuals Frens whom i hold close to my heart..

Chatted with a Fren recently and realised our friendship had drifted apart.. guess tt's normal when we had our own goals to pursue and busy lives to live.. Friends come & Friends go.. even we become Acquaintances, i know we will still catch up with one another during our yearly or Occasions meeting up.. and i am Eternally Grateful for your help & Guidance.. Thanks Bro!

"I be glad to see them again. I'ii also be glad to have contributed to their baggage..and to have enriched their lives, just as much they have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life"

Happiness is not define in your life only when you find a boyfriend/husband to be, but when u have Frens in your life that walk with u,encouraged u,cried with u,laughed with u and Believe in u..

Personally, being thru past relationships.. i am a person who loves my friends more than my other half(future half)..

it's contradicting it may seems as frens might not travel as long in compared with the future partner.. but tt's why during the term of frenship i love & treasure them..

My posts tends to replicate but frenship r never to be taken for granted & so i always want to blog abt them & at the same time remind myself to treasure them.

Time for a Break after an extreme month in March of long working hours

.

So basically, slept for more than 10 hours till late noon n wanted to give myself a good break, a day break from my work & studies.. N just doing what i enjoyed doing, which is:

1. Had just finished watching a Dvd lend from my sign lang classmate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LeHX0aj9_Q

Quite an old movie but one tt is acted by deaf actors & actress..

*Waiting for a msg on the commencement of church conducted sign lang classes*

An quick update of my life:

Last Sat, went down to the Wine fair held by Harrys with Rajah & Rapture, tasted a total of 4-5 wines, ate and took some name cards of wine suppliers..

And from it, found a new love in :
www.spyvalleywine.co.nz/wines/spyvalley/riesling

Spy Valley Riesling 2008 from New Zealand.. had subsequently tried another Riesling:

Frankland Estate Riesling 2008

When comparing these 2 New World Wines.. the Former is sweeter n smoother to the throat..

n another White:

For red wines, i had particularly this combination grapes wine:

I prefer white wines to red as red tends to be more bitter n stronger.. but this particular wine was a little much lighter, a good wine to start i believe for pple who don't like red wines..

Yepz, so this wine fair was a pretty good start to my interest for wines.. despite not being able to attend the wine courses due to its steep course price.

2. a Time to Ponder & Self-evaluation

Had finally manage to attend cg after missing it for almost a month due to working till late on FrIs n it was a great time of catching up with my cg members as we went for supper subsequently..

Guess it's time for me to strike a balance in my own commitments.. this word constantly appears in my blog as this is the issues that i yet to solve..

On a particular day, my Cg leader, Ling Siang msg me.. on issues about one to balance well n have sufficient rest after i had told her that on the average esp during March, i slept an average 0f 3 to 5 hours every day.. in comparison to the sufficient rest of 6 to 8 hrs a day. N my a member leaves a msg on FB on priorities..

I confess i had over focus on my work.. which leaves me thinking last nite on the way while walking to cg meeting..

there might comes a day, where my boss might just walk to my table telling me that i am sacked.

The possibilities is always there no matter how much of effort i put in or sow..

Afterall, in Financial aspects point of view:

Employees are not classified as a Fixed nor Current Assets in a Company's Financial statments..

Companies look at the financial issues involve in increasing their profit n cash flow and employees are hired to manage n assists.. it's a matter of costs n benefits involved in obtaining well experienced n smart employees..

So if i had over focus on work n in the process loses my priorities in church n my christian frens.. what wld happen if i were to lose my job.. what does that leaves me with?

In terms of my studies, it goes in line with my job, i seek to pursue it n spend times on it all for the cause of a brighter future ahead, building up my experiences n knowledge so when i am 30 plus, i don't have to struggle with remaining as an assistant with fear that when economic crisis struck again, i will be out of job.. but rather due to the benefits of in Accounts where every Company needs that dept, a good experience n cert will serve its due. Perhaps being in this line, Long term-objectives is an essential and that explains why i strive so hard to excel in both..

But i am a human afterall..

There are other issues to consider.. if surrounding me are frens n leaders who are facing a higher demand at their workplace n pursing a Master/PHD & yet they are doing well in their ministry, frenships n relationship..

it's not about Comparing myself with them but rather their examples are for me to Evaluate myself..

We have the same 24 hrs..

n back to yesterday fellowshipping.. just seeing them makes me flash a genuine smile.. it just feels good to hang around happy pple after facing all the glum faces that i face at work,including myself to my co-workers. *guilty*

n all of the members are in the working field as well,smart, helpful n caring.. n our leader,who's 5 months pregnant, an ever caring smart n cheerful & Optimistic lady. Always feel that being pregnant is a physically straining thing, but looking at her and 2 other cg members who are mothers, they are ever so looking bright n cheerful. In the near future, when i get married, they shall be my role model.

N i want to get married too.. =x God willing, may i meet my one too.. *praying hardz*

In conclusion, i believe in HIS hands, life will continously turn for the better, circumstances,dark moments.. will not determine the direction of life's journey but an additional reason in pursuing for a better, blessed life aheadz.

did not mention to anyone else but confessing it over here, tt yes, i am currently going thru a dark tunnel this moment,it's not easy ain't that tough,i know i can n will go thru it.. juz pray n believe in me, tt will be more than sufficient. To my frens tt are concerned, the definination of Cyndiz = she's an Overcomer n "being weak" , n " giving up" does nor and never will exist in her ;ife's dictionary.

It's not about acting strong or putting up a strong front when i don't share my problems..i guess it just within me.. a strong stubborness tt had build thru the years, tt i don't intend to share n also everyone has their own problems n struggle don't they.?

The real me within is divulged in my blog, so it's a joke to tell me that u don't read my blog coz the past is the past n no point in knowing my past.. though i have gotten over u but the words u said still leaves a negative impact..

Cyndiz theology: After the rain, the sun still shines. ^-^

Protection



If you are not a christian, do u then believe in angels, or so what we define as an Invisble Being protecting over each individual life?

"Have u ever almost slipped down the stairs landing on yr butt n glad tt u didn't end up rolling down the stairs?"

"Have u cross the traffic light, with the green man still intact n nt even flashing yet, u cross the road and after a step, a car behind speed past n u wonder what wld have occured if u had missed tt step?"

I guess every individual has their little mishap before..

like when we were young, we imagine we were superman n defy the law of gravity by jumping from high places or imagine we were acrobats by walking thru a narrow high surfaces.. n tt's always caused our parents to let out a scream when we did eventually fail our adventure..

Thinking back we always laugh it away n nw tt we are older, we wld "phew., tt was lucky, i almost got hit by tt D*** car just now".


Just yesterday night, a minor freak incident occured.. after a long day of work n studying, i literally lied flat on my bed falling deeply asleep but got woke up at 3am plus by a loud noise by my fan, those that are fixed near the ceiling of the wall.. n my mum was jolted up, n mention that the fan apparently break apart, the cover flew out n landed just beside her..

N me, despite the noise, brush it aside n went back to sleep..

n the next morning, i woke up to find the fan flip..one of the flips was just a few cms near me n it was cracked n had a corner cut off.. so imagine my horror..

Minor accident: it cld have cut me, maybe my hands or slit a cut on my face (screams)..

Major: i wold not have been able to type this entry had it landed a bit further, i mean just between my chin n shoulder.. if one knw what i meant..

*thoughts fluttering".. imagine this: it was as if someone had spoke to the situation tt occured with words of love n Protection saying:

"That's my child, she's not allowed to be harm in any form of manners, nt even the slightest cut"..



*smiling*


I thank God for His Protection over my loved one & my Life, always assuring me that i am never alone

Everytime i feel down, since i won't it be blogging it out, my solution is to keep replaying my blog song again n again n i know i be back on my feet again..

I don't need encouragement, neither advice, just believe in me.. that's the best form of support.

Once a Christian, forever a Christian..

This is going to be a Christian entry.. to other viewers, u may have the option to move yr cursor to "x" at the top right hand corner of yr screen, as i don't wish for any sniggering as 1 scrolls down..

everyone has the freedom to think or react n it's clearly your choice.. no one can be your brain n forces u think what u don't agree on..


Had created a new blog site earlier this year as one can see from my "Darlinks"- A JOurney to Remember was for this intention but apparently not being able to figure out with the html codes, i was unable to set it up till now & cld not find anyone to help me out in this..

Though i am balancing my commitments & really learning to.. it may seems unconvincing to others..
Without God in my life, i won't want & unable to carry on with all my current commitments now..

More often than not, when i tell my friends that i am attending church svcs on sun, they will usually reply:

"huh.. you are a christian?"

"... "

I guess i had always took it for the negative aspect, that they might have perceive me as someone who does not behave like a christian..

It cld have been their impression of a christian was a standard, fixed character & to them.. i was some one different..

Either or..

Christian is not a religion.. it's only when one go thru it & feel it.. that's where they know..


"is it compulsory for u all christians to attend church every sun?"

& i wld usually reply: "Not compulsory, we attend cause we want to"

and yes.. due to my studies & wanting to achieve as much as i could.. there are times where i miss church svcs or may go disappearing for a while.. nonetheless, i always make try to make it a point to attend, not becoz of frens or any other reasons.. it's just because of HIM..

Had told my cousin.. the current me is "Achievement operated"

right now, maybe if i don't attend church or cg, i can use my time to do much more achievement based stuffs..

But...

Without HIM, i would not be wanting to do all that i am doing..

if u know the me years back ago.. i will not even be a blogger & typing all those previous posts..

to some, it might be unconvincing.. it's True:



He's the reason where i am right now.


Still Loving my God..


One thing is still for sure:

I have choosen to follow & will never regret..


Here's a link to a christian flash:

When i first saw this flash, i had already formally declared i was no longer a christian but after watching a particular one.. i teared.."


http://www.donghaeng.net/english/main.htm

Here are some of my fav:

1. Title :I love you

2. Waiting 2

3. Leave

4.Comimg Together - this clearly illustrate another main reasons why we christians go to church.. as there are christians tt choses to stay away from church..

5. Rubber Band

6. string <= this hits me hard.. n tears overwhelm

7. again...

8. passion (this is really making me tearing even as i'm blogging)

9. The Top (all christians can skip the rest but muz watch this.. isn't tt a stage where we had been thru or going it thru nw)

10. (New)Footprints <= it's true, bad times (trials) when we went thru it, we did not understood y & had felt alone but it's thru all these we became stronger n we were never ever alone..

11. Lamplight (a good Illustration)

12. Heavenly hope (l to all my christian frems..let's run this race together & let's never give up k?)

13. Cross2

14.duty (this is the one tt i mentioned, the one tt make me teared yrs back then)



Hope this site has bless u too.. & i have put it under my link..

Check this out:

http://www.harrys.com.sg/Downloads/EDM-Wine-L.jpg

Anyone interested in joining me? Drop me a tag..

Will be going with one of my fren n hope more will join us..