Being single is hardly a social stigma these days as more women in Asia become independent financially and socially. However, marriage, especially in the Asian context, is still seen as the "more acceptable" status. How do the bachelorettes of the 21st century make sense of their independence, their longing for companionship and social expectations to be hitched?
For one, the personal freedom is definitely something that is appreciated by civil servant, Cheryl, 28. “I wouldn't say that being married with two kids in a 4-room HDB flat at 28 is a goal for me. There are still a lot of things that I wouldn't give up for now such as travelling, doing mission work in church and building my career.”
For PR consultant Ann, 37 and editor Joan, 30, singlehood has even afforded them the ticket to work abroad in Australia and Hong Kong respectively. Says Ann, “If I had been attached or married, I would probably not have had the opportunity to pursue my Masters degree overseas or migrate to Australia. These were life choices that really made me a better person from what I have learnt along the way.”
Likewise, Joan, who previously worked in London, admits that she wouldn’t have had the liberty to just “up and go” if she had relationship commitments.
As much as they enjoy their independent lifestyles, the possibility of companionship is still something that they haven’t ruled out.
“At the end of the day, I think everyone would like to have a special someone, and I'm no different. When I see friends getting married, settling down and having babies, it feels like they are moving on to 'adult' stuff while I seem to be stuck in this kidult phase,” Joan admits.
However, these discerning single women have also come to terms with the fact that the lofty notions of romance will also evolve. “I think this thing about Mr Right is kind of overhyped. Not everyone finds him and I just think it boils down to whatever works for you and makes you happy,” says teacher Lyn, 30. Similarly, Ann believes that there will be certain circumstances she will have to accommodate if she does encounter love later in life — for example, not being able to have children.
Meanwhile, Cheryl is still enjoying the dating scene as a single. “Putting on a pretty dress and heels and having a nice dinner with hopefully enjoyable company is seldom a bad thing!”
Whatever the case, it seems like these women are hardly in a rush to get into a serious relationship or even consider marriage for that matter. As Lyn explains, “
“Love is not something that can be forced upon. It happens when it happens.”
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