Found the following website from Straits Times Online:

http://www.fmylife.com/

it's unbelievable to think that are thousands & thousands of posts.. all about lamenting about their lives:

Here is one extract, which i extracted randomly as i don't find the need to waste my time reading too much of such entries:



"Today, I found an old friend of mine on Facebook. After adding her, I suggested friends for her. She ended up adding every single one I added, but not me. I later saw her ask one of those friends who the hell I was and how I knew all of them. We used to eat lunch together everyday. FML"
#5519690 (19)I agree, your life sucks (3072) - you totally deserved it (193)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by alliobamy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

For your info, FML = F**K my Life.. and visitors actually can chose the option highlighted in red above..

Amusing, isn't it?







Tskz...

it makes one wonder, do one feel better by Complaining about everything & getting Miserable and wanting People to go saying.. "oh.. you so Poor thing.."

!!!

Okay, i mean i do complain once in a while.. like the last bad incident where a Cab driver caused me to be late for my Sign Lang. Test.. and my classmates had to tolerate my that moment of Whining..

But.. have u met those who literally Complain about everything? From the Weather to the Passengers to the Food to the.........

If your answer is "no".. try befriending a Complainer, give that person 1 hour of your time..

Trust me.. you will feel Demoralised by the end of the hour..

Some updates:

Had a great weekend celebrating with my Frens:

Friday: Met up with Eve & Kok Leong..the 3 Libras we are..

Went to had Ramen for dinner at Marina Square before proceeding to our next destination.. Timbre @ Substation, a place where Eve's favourite band is performing -> 53A.

Check out the place at the following site:

http://www.timbre.com.sg/

Initially, as we were sitting more towards the back, didn't find anything special about the band as the music seems to cover the Vocalist's singing..

Shifted after awhile so as to let Eve have a clearer view of her Alvin, the guitarist of the band..

I had to eat up my words, they were simply Awesome esp. when they played Rock Music.

And i found myself, rooting for another band member, Bani the Bass player, he simply rocks!

*a Bani fan as of 25/09/09!!*

Can't wait to go there againz with Jing yin & gang.

Sat: Met up with my Poly Mates to have our Brunch at Peach Garden followed bby shopping with Audrey for her dress & i bought a dress at the same store.

Joke of the day:

Conversation goes like this:

Fren A :"Cyndiz, so where you working now?"

Me : "Suki Group"

Fren A look at Fren B & said: "Wow, so the next time we meet up, you will be wearing all your bling bling jewellery"

Me: *blur* "Huh, why?"

Fren A : "Your Co, is the Jewellery Co right?-> Meaning Suki Jewellery

Me: *laughs*.."No larhz, it's Suki Sushi, the Group Company that owns Sakura restaurants"

*laughters*


Sun-> Met up with my SADF peers, consisting of: Ee Wen, Vincent,Kok Leong, Eve, Weisheng, Jing Yin & Guo Wen.

Had dinner at Pasta Fresta located at Somerset Terrace..
 me, a self-professed Italian Food Lover, delights in eating the thin crust Pizza but was terribly disappointed with the Pasta Alfredo..

Sighz.. i miss my Prev. work place, Via Veneto, having my favourite chef Long Fei, whipping up my favourite Tomato & Cream Based with Chicken Pasta paired up with my Love Cesar Salad.


Those were the days, where i was treated like a princess.. whatever i want to eat.. i can always have it.

*Glutton me*

We then proceeded on to Starbucks where we're laughing ourselves crazy..Bitching about one another, Bickering away & not to mention Cam-whoring.




Left the place with a wide grin.. really love hanging out with them.


Time for me to change a new blogskin & had decided to put back my Tagboard once again, thus explaining the emptyness of it.


My current focus: Score & pass my Exam and doing well for my job..

Though work can be pretty challenging, like this month, 2 more days left to close 2 months accounts. However, am looking to build up greater experiences & ultimately up the Corporate Ladder.

Last but not least, my 3rd main Commitments & loves: Sign Lang..

Looking forward to further details on Interpretator Class on the 10 Oct and crossing my finger to start Volunteering soonz.


Remaining Happy regardlessly..


Througout this whole period, i conclude, i just want to live a life of purpose...

my Birthday wish was not to simply get attached..it's more about finding the soul mate where a couple life is not about each other but together being able to make a difference in others life, a simple work of Volunteerism together is what i define as sweetness.

my usual routine of reaching home is not to switch on Tv.. coz to me, it's a Non-value Added Activity.

Only watched when i feel stressed out or juz simply nothing better to do..

So TV is not my common topic with my frens..

Neither am i so "Interesting" that i can hang out with frens after work everyday..

So the routine Activity that i been doing since my time were more freed up.. was to log onto Facebook..

Nopez, i don't log with the aim of playing games, coz i think loner games are no fun..

I simply log in, to juz read the activities posted by my frens.. their thoughts for the day, the quiz they took, the photos they post up & the videos they share.

Reading till this part, "Kaypo" is what would pop out of your mind.. but nopez, i juz want to know what my frens are up to even as we live our busy Individual Routines Schedule..

Sometimes, a simple Video as u scroll can triggle a thought, like the following posted by one of my fren:







This song brings back all the memories, all the remembrance..

Those ten plus years of Storms that occurred in my life.. though it was hell, have truly changed me,moulded my character & formed my perplexed mindset.

As the words illustrate:

"Don't get Disappointed when God doesn't give you what you want, For He knows the Best Time for u to have it"

To those who are going thru tough moments right now muz be thinking "Rightz, it's easier to say than to digest it & hold on to it"

I used to have that thought before...

one example:

When i flunked my "O" levels.. i had re-took it another time with the intention to enter into TP's Hospitality & Tourism.

Coz this is what i wanted.. this is my goal, i forsee myself working in this career.. i didn't wanted to enter Poly for the sake of entering into it.. like Engineering or other courses which simply does not fits me..

So when i flunk the second time, i was really at a Loss.. where do i go next? Private school conducting such Courses are expensive & i didn't have the $$.

I was already a Christian & i didn't understood why He had allowed this..didn't God want us to have a good future??

My then best fren then suggested me to enroll into ITE & study Accountancy..

First thought: "ITE?? (It's The End) ... hell no!

Second Thought; "what's Accounting??" it involves Numbers?! I hate Maths!! "

I had no confirmation when i prayed.. i just feel a sense of peace that almost seems as a confirmation & i took the step of faith to enroll it.. w/o exactly knowing what it was & where it would lead me to..

and it's amazing from then till now.. ITE to Ngee Ann Poly- Accountancy to ACCA and being in Accounts line.

This clarifies that i am not a typical S'porean who took Accountancy becoz it's a well paid Job but simply becoz i had developed an Interest in it.

What about my first love? Hospitality & Tourism?

Since i can't have best of both world?

A combination would be Working in F&B industry doing Accounts!

a Christian Journey is always full of surprises!

It's amazing till now, unexplainable.. of how when my life had came to a stoodstill, when i had no reason to live..



Only one saw the Best in me, gave me a reason to smile & where i am right now, though i have not reach the utimate destination & success..

As this is a public blog, i can only reveal to that the Cyndiz that they see & all she have right now.. everything.. her job, her studies..

occur by no coincidence..

it could only be God.

The exact circumstances.. not many knows.. even if shared, it's basically summarised.. the turmoil.. the thoughts that went thru.. it takes someone special, someone that can totally earn my trust in order for me to share.



So when i say: If you think you know me.. think again.. actually u don't.. the way u had tried to perceive me as is just a mere superficial surface.

All i can reveal is, i express myself better in written forms, tt's y i blog.. n my thoughts is what reflect me..

n not when i talk, coz i confess, after a long day, i m not as highly Intelligent as u r, i tend to hybernate n enjoys not using my brain.. the more i don't need to use it, the better it is..

Generally, i prefer to Listen then to talk, coz that's where i learnt more, as what another fren had posted on her profile is what i truly agree with both hands up; "Being Quiet doesn't mean u have no Character nor Depth, it's just that there's no common topic"

I am quiet for 2 reasons:

1. I am interested in your life & want to hear u share more.

2. Blundly; i have simply no common grounds with u & i can't be bothered to think of a topic to try to talk to u.



Want to know more about my life? Start by Understanding me..

Am really free up on sats ever since my results were out.. i am still so happy whenever i think about my results.. i sounds so exagerrating, but here are the following reasons y my smile is still stuck on me since Mon evening:

1. one more module to clear this Dec. exams for my Fundamental level before i can move on to level 3 of ACCA, which is otherwise known as the Professional Level.

In Professional Level: there are a total of 3 Essential Modules being Professional Accountant, Corporate Reporting & Business Analysis and 2 Option Modules.

Thus to say, 5 more papers to clear before obtaining my ACCA cert! i'm so excited just to think about it.

2. On the average, based on Statistics.. part time students tend to retake at least 2 times for the "Killer Modules"..
The craziest i heard about a fren's fren.. is retaking for the 8th time for a module..

So it was a relief for me to having pass all (except 1 which i am currently taking) my Killer Modules for the Fundamental Level in the 1st time roundz.

and on knowing from the Lecturer of the World Passing rate for both of my modules, i was feeling darn proud:

F7- 30% Passing rate <- i am one of the 30%!

F9 - 40 -42%

3. Juz before one think i am a show-off.. read tis before u conclude:

Sacrifices were necesary to come this far, though i have not obtain the cert, i know tis process will be continual till a year to year&half from now..

-> i literally became a Geek ever since i took ACCA, after work i will literally go back home and open my books to study..it got more exagerrating in revision period- study from Noon till 3am to 4am every day.. no Tv.

-> I adopted the S'porean attitude of Kiasu-ism. Rushing to enroll for a new module early so in order to secure a place in a certain Lecturer class & will listen to recorded lectures as i move from one place to another.

-> I had no life.. : While my frens were out shopping & chilling out, watching Movie.. the last Semester especially, i stayed @ home studying, had to resist the temptation to say no when they ask me out.

This sense of Satisfaction is way much better.. though Smart Genes does not run in my blood.. though i had to work extremely hard, the Joy of being Rewarded in exchange for the hardship is simply indescripable.


Craziness were those periods that this semester i decide to give myself a break by not taking 1 module from the Fundamental Level.

I just want to spend more time with my frens.. focus on my non-core activity-> Sign Lang. , and to be an effective & effecient employee in my current workplace.

In every different circumstances that occured, i have changed in matter of Perspective & mindset.

I used to be an extremist when it comes to work or simply to put it, i am a Workaholic.
Being an Accountant was everything i could think of.. the sense of Satsification was constantly unsatisfying..

Having a change of job that occurs in the middle of this year.. as mentioned before.. From what i deemed as a level of one man show, being in charge of the whole office adminstration, from Accounts to HR to a secretary of my Boss, an second level after my Boss.

Things changed overnite when a Restructure occured, i wasn't given the option to stick to be under my former boss.. and carrying an even stronger burden to manage the Finances of the Co. & seeing a worst off mgmt occuring but yet couldn't say a single word due to respect.. i could only watch someone whom i once Respected to Disregardation (Cyndiz's Dictionary).

Having all tolerance disminishing thru the days, i immediately accept an job offer w/o thinking much. To be a Freelance Accountant's assistant, sounds like something i could climb nearer to my goal..

But Alas, i dropped from heaven to hell during those 1 month plus.. i lose my working ability (read literally), i made extreme mistakes, something so foolish.. and i had put on an front to my frens.. telling them everything was great only to lament a bit once a while.

I had pondered those periods: where had my Focus & Sense of Achievement went to... didn't being an Accountant was a position that i had almost reached. i stretched out my hands only to realise it was an Illusion.

A Wake Up Call.. For those who know me well, knows my Role Model are High Fliers,Female CEOs. I constantly strive.. regardless of no prim & proper upbringing, no opportunity for good Education, regardless of Monetary support... i just want to prove w/o all these factors, success is still possible.

Right where i am, i know i am still far.. but came to realise after a series of Events.. all these are Secondary.. it could be robbed away in a single day. It's all seen in the News isn't it? Esp. in America, where CEOs.ss committed Sucide all becoz of Failure. a Word that didn't exist till Uncertainty Struck.

Simplicity is a Bliss..

My Life Direction has took a turn, i had decided to take a different Route.

"In the Seat of a CEO, having a Luxurious Lifestyle,Splurging.. Havin a Car & Condo. All these things, in a twist of Events.. Can be overturned into a Life of debts & nightmares.. if Plans are not made beforehand. "

The above is quoted from my Cousin,Sabrina yesterday nite as we travelled to cg.

I don't intend to take a backseat.. goals are still there, just that it's no longer place as the major Priority.. a different Strategy approach is undertaken, that is to mix it with Simplicity.

The other topic we touch on was:

Title: to Give Respect not only to those of higher position but those of older age..

We seen them in our workplace.. they're in their 40 to 50s... they could be just doing some Admin work or Non-competitive Postions.. and we youngsters, esp. those blinded by Networking.. treat them with Disrespect. or rather they're just there to do some assistance to our work.. no form of Regards & we self-declare we have a Generation Gap with them..yet at the same time, trying to Curry Favour our Boss, our CEOs who could be almost the same age.

she mention: "they're experienced in life.. we never know we may really learn things from them.." Truez.

"Never stop learning.. don't think u ought to be respected when new graduates, new generation are in our workplace when we're old. They on the other side, will giggle at our old age. feel tt we're out of touch of the world. Mingle with them and respect is earned when efforts are made"


I love such moments of chats.. cause majority of the time, we Women tend to be less serious @ times.. though we love to chat on shopping & dramas & blah blah blah.. we may avoid polictical topics, it's not that we dunno, it's just that the atmosphere is to be lighten up, with laughter & about each other daily lifes..

So Serious all the time for what?

that's my kind of attitude.. so sometimes to my frens, i may appear all brainless & blur... coz too lazy to use brain.

Realised in this Competive country, everyone are almost so afraid to lose, afraid to be laugh at, afraid to look silly.. and we constantly Tense ourselves with Unnecessary Stress.. it's almost we got to appear All Smart & all Talented to be in the Crowd... or rather to win the Crowd over.


I am Simply Different..

And so today's post is really once in a while.. to be all serious in my words.. while majority of the time, it sounds like a simple, girly kind of entries.


Before Signing off.. i recommend the following Blog:

http://taxidiary.blogspot.com

U read of him in the Straits Times a few days ago.. a PHD who's now a Taxi Driver..

I enjoy reading his entries, he didn't sounds all bitter of life despite of his circumstances, he decide to make the best out of it.. to be a Different Kind of Taxi Driver.

A Perspective of A Taxi Driver is what makes his Blog so interesting..

Enjoyz!

Feel so unmotivated to blog when my tagboard is not movingz.

if there's at least 5 new comments in my tagobard, will i blog againz.

If not, i will remove my tagboard b4 starting a new post..

Everyone wants a certain level of attention ,don't we?

Graduation (Friends Forever) - Vitamin C

*This blog is best viewed by clicking the above "Play full song"(simply move yr cursor to the above words in the playlist, n it will open in a new window)


Hooray! After completing 3 different level of Basic sign lang courses- being BS1, BS2 & BS3.. finally graduated today!





Though am registering for the intermediate level of it, still can't help but to feel emotional about today's graduation..





The reason y the above song come with this song, just as Jing Ying & Eve have phrase it, we machiam like a secondary/Tertiary class.. we had throughout this 3 levels, together as a class.. learning, crapping, laughing & meeting up to practice during test season & after lessons, we would go out for dinner.





Recalling back then, when i juz enrolled into the Basic Level 1, i knew nobody, had really intended that it would be just learning from the Instructor & going home after lessons & that's it..





In the class, it was obvious that some of the classmates were a group of frens & being really rather Anti-social, i didn't bother to interact muchz..





Nonethless, everyone in the class was really funz & spontatenous & the Instructor, Alfred was real funny & helpful..





It was only @ the 4th lesson, on the day of the 1st Test, i bump into Eve at the bus-stop & we chatted about of our preparation of the test & it was then she mentioned she hanged out with the rest of the classmates, that is Joel & gang, after the previous classes.. & i enthusatically asked her to Jio me along should they meet up during the week..





Back then, all the way till only recently in BS3, my sign lang was really really badz, as i didn't have the time to practice during the weekdays & the only time i sign was only in class.. as mentioned before, my main concentration was on my work & my studies..


.

What started out as a simple intention to help out in the community, i had a curious mentality when i signed out with Sign lang, i didn't really research much into it..





I just went into the SADF homepage, view what r the courses.. the basic compulsory beginning class & the charges involved & i just send out a cheque to register for itz..





Not to mention, i had stopped lessons in BS1 before as i didn't had the time to commit after completing the Introduction to Deaf Culture Compulsory class.





i stopped for a semester & not wanting to give up my initial intentions, i continue to enrolled for BS1 even though my sign was juz still as badz..





So as it progresses, from BS1 to BS 2 to BS3, being 5 lessons per level.. my passion for sign lang grew.. & guess much was contributed to hanging out with them, after i decided to free up my time to join in their fellowship after completing my ACCA exams in June- juz the recent exams..







There were times, more than once as mentioned in my prev entries, that i had wanted to give it up, as i really really didn't had the time to practice.. contributed by being 1 of the slowest in class & not understanding what the Instructor & classmates were signing abt.





But i'm glad i didn't.. am still trying to use every available time to practice & smoothen it..





Had wanted to post up a picture of my cert but alas as my phone camera is lousy, i shall post it on a future basis.. meanwhile, i shall post pictures taken by Eve of the "graduation dinner" today:

I really look ugly in these 2 photos, in the above, i was trying not to blink & my hairdresser had cut my fringe really too shortz.. *sighz*

*beaming proudly with our cert, though JY looks really tired in this picture..

*missing in class picture* : Daniel & Jerry...

What was enjoyable about today's class other than getting the cert was a short "act" we did during the lesson.. the video is viewable in my facebook profile..
we acted on the spot after just a brief description of the story line, no rehearsal & we "play by ear" n so the whole act was really random n funny..



Getting this cert had almost been hard based on last test incident.. it is as per narrated as below:


Left church 3/4 way as Svc was stilled carrying on, time was 1.45pm.. i was @ Expo & Test started Exactly at 2.15pm, not wanting to be late, i took a Cab.. *fatal Mistake*

In the end, the Act Smart Cab Uncle not knowing well his directions, took me to a longer than expected route & even got lost as time ticks by.. had to rely on Kok Leong n Daniel to direct the uncle the way thru before finally reachin there.. and the time was 2.25pm..

Imagine my panic-ness, i had really intended to score for the test but alas, my mind wasn't really clear as i run to the class n immediately sat down as test was in progress..

It felt terrible after the whole test, as i thought i would had failed..

but Thank God, the Instructor was really Nice to let me continue the questions i missed out & repeat the Sign-ing of the whole sentences to me again even when she collected the rest of the class papers..

I was really touched as it was not supposed to be so & i was even more touched on learning that i got my classmates worried when they learnt that i got loss in the cab & they had requested for the test to be held back till i reached, though it was ultimately rejected..

so imagine my delight when i got news that i passed!!

Can't wait for the Intermediate Level to begin, where it would be more focus on Local Sign words..

*gonna improve meanwhile*

Guess in everything that u do, there's always an opportunity cost.. while i had choose to hang out with them for the graduation dinner, i had to missed out Louisa's Baby, Isabelle year birthday celebration.. felt really rather bad, as i had confirmed with her much earlier that i will be attending.. & so photos of me are seen under Category 'SADF' in facebook profile & missing in Category 'Isabelle Birthday Party'..

hope Louisa understand..

* Miss Misunderstood*

With this title in mind, i shall elaborate on a 2nd section of today's entry:

Tried as i could, unexplained personality: i got to emphasis that i am actually not a quiet person, it just that my "golden" mouth only talk to certain category of people..

n one main category is guys..

I am not CH (to put it vulgarly:it is known as Chee Hong).. which is define as gals who hangs out with guys most of the time..

i have no exact explanation to it, can someone who studies Psychology put a term to this??

I mean maybe guys are more crappy & more tolerant to jokes or whatsoever words i can put into it..

throughout my whole life, my close frens were always guys...

it may not seems so rite now as the frenship with them most of the time did not last too long as i tend to drift myself apart from it when they are attached.. not becoz of i had developed feelings for them but rather i really do not want to cause a single % of misunderstanding by their gf..

N so this applies, to my Gal frens partners, i am also very quiet with them coz imagine i talk more to their bf n more talkative with them instead of my frens.. what would they be thinking?? i am flirting?

Hell no.. i never had a slight intention to do so.. while i may be single, i got to emphasis that it is my current decision to do so..

n so imagine my struggle internally.. want to talk but more than often i prevented myself from doing so.. n so i rather be a wallpaper than to be Mistaken by my Gal frens..

I am not a Tom Boy.. seriously.. this is the last word, my close frens will associate me with..

the best explanation i can put to it is, to my definition, guys really make better frens..

- they don't get easily jealous of yr success..

-they don't get bitter when their fren got attached..

- they don't get together just to mumur about others..

- they don't enjoy gossping behind yr back while putting a fake smile in front of u

- when u ask them for help, they immediately offer an extended hand without thinking for too long..

-they don't act mature, feeling that this action or words will affect one's image..

-they are comfortable talking about anything under the sky..

In summary, this is what i conclude out of the guy frens i know of.. though not all guys r like that..

With these guy frens, i don't need to program too much words before saying it out..so my 'cruel' jokes n suan most of the time fall onto them.. whereas i tend to think minutes of what shld i say before the words come out verbally to my gal frens, so that it will not hurt them..

try saying:

"you cannot make it larhz, u lousy lehz u"

Out of 10 gals, maybe at least half will take it personally.. unless they r yr super arhs Jie meis...

Out of 10 guys, they don't have to know u too well.. they will tend to suan back or rather brush it off immediately..

they seldom think : "Why she say that? why she so rude one??"

n to put in common sensely: this is not applicable when the guy is feeling lousy on tt day..

We gals often lament esp those who are attached will often make such a comment that:

Women think with their brain whereas guys think with their ..........."

it's a Sexist joke, ain't it?

But we women who tend to think tooooooo much, spoilts the whole fun of life...

n i got to emphasis tt what i sow i do reap, i am pretty open minded- to a certain extent & i am always ready to take their insensitive jokes & suaning backz..

I am juz Uniquely Differentz..

Being an Avid Blogger (in a way).. i can't help but to blog out my thoughts on Michael Jackson..today being the 7th day since he left this earth...

Just last Friday:

Received an sms in the morning from my cousin, i was lazing on the bed:

"The King of pop,Michael Jackson has passed away"

i was like: *eyes almost popped out* *think to self* "This must be of those forwarded jokes"

Immediately, i turned on my laptop & googled his name.. only to find out, i was one of the slowest to know of his death...

next emotion..

*ponders about when was the last time i heard about MJ's news??*

It seems that he had gone into seclusion from the entertainment news for years...

and as today, as i came back home from my lessons, picked up the 8Days of reports of MJ, read through it, and in the background, the radio was playing his song and DJ's response of the impact of his death...

as i read thru the magazine, which report an overall glance of the years of fame of his life.. from the Jackson 5:



his talent, his fame herein begins from a young age...

MJ's quote: "People who grew up as a child stars have the same thing in common. You're cute, they love you;you go through the same awkward stage, they don't accept you anyomre. Very few make the Transition to adult star"

He did.. and the transition brought him to an esclating fame as he grew older...

As i met my frens, everyone was almost talking about him, be it facebook, twitter or blogs.. his name was suddenly once mentioned all over the world..


it's rather cynical in a way, i mean, everyone had almost critised him & labelled him as weirdo, when news of him dangling his baby, to him being accused of molesting the teenage boy..

the next thought as news flashes, now that's he's gone, it makes us ponder, were the accusations of molest true? or did the "victim" family tried to exploit his wealth?"

It's cruel, in this world, u can do a million gd deeds, but all it takes is a wrong act to erase all the former away..

the other word that had link to his name other than the King of Pop is him being a Humanitarian..

This following song, was one of my favourite.. we kinda grew up with his songs and this song in particular, when it was just released, was a favourite among my secondary schoolmates.. they were humming it along as they walk from class to class.. my classmates were also constantly singing it away..

it seems almost so yesterday..




Quotes about the death of Michael Jackson
By The Associated Press – 5 days ago

"I met Michael Jackson at the age of 8 — when his father and my new friend, Joe Jackson, first began to bring the Jackson 5 to Chicago from their home in Gary, Ind., for concert appearances. ... Michael Jackson's personal crescendo of amazing power as an entertainer was clear and unmistakable and has never slowed to this very day! His passing will be grieved far beyond that of any other singer, composer, producer, dancer and choreographer in the history of the world. Indeed, in my very firmest personal belief, there will never, ever be another Michael Jackson." — Don Cornelius, creator of the television show "Soul Train."

___

"We have all been blessed to have witnessed a true light, a wonderful talent ... no words can describe his talent, generosity, advocacy and love for the world ... He gave us a piece of his soul and dedicated his life to entertain us ." — Rapper-musician will.i.am.

___

"Having been working out with and training with Michael Jackson over the last 15 years, most recently in the last few months, he was a dear friend and inspiration. Michael is an icon and the world has suffered a great loss and to his family I send my deepest condolences and prayers." — Bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno.

___

"My heart ... my mind ... are broken. I loved Michael with all my soul and I can't imagine life without him. We had so much in common and we had such loving fun together. I was packing up my clothes to go to London for his opening when I heard the news. I still can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. It can't be so." — Actress Elizabeth Taylor.

___

"My prayers go out to the Jackson family, and my heart goes out to his children. Let us remember him for his unparalleled contribution to the world of music, his generosity of spirit in his quest to heal the world, and the joy he brought to his millions of devoted fans throughout the world." — Singer Mariah Carey.

___

"He was one of, if not the greatest entertainer of all time, and was without question the King of Pop. He was also my friend. He recorded a song of mine on his 1979 `Off the Wall' album and in 1981 we sang a duet together. We spent a considerable amount of time together in 2001 at my home music studio and I saw him in a totally different light — as a nurturing and caring father." — Lyricist Carole Bayer Sager.

___

"We have lost one of the greatest icons of all time. He forever set the bar for entertainers all around the world." — Hip-hop singer Fergie.

___

"The world has certainly lost a great individual and we only hope that America and the rest of the world will continue to focus on the positive and not speak poorly of a man who was under constant scrutiny his entire life. We are happy to have had the opportunity to know Michael since he was a little boy and most recently we had the pleasure of working on one of his projects in Los Angeles. ... God bless you, Michael, and we will miss you!" — The O'Jays, Walter Williams Sr., Eddie Levert Sr. and Eric Nolan Grant.

___

"I am truly saddened that my mentor, brother and friend will no longer be with us physically. At the same time I feel so blessed to have been touched by his music, his dance, his lyrics and his pure genius. It is because of Michael's yesterday that I am who I am today! My condolences to his family and friends around the world. Michael Jackson rest in peace and may your music and legacy forever reign on Earth!" — Singer R. Kelly.

___

"I can't stop crying, this is too sudden and shocking. I am unable to imagine this. My heart is hurting. I am in prayer for his kids and the family." — Singer Diana Ross.

___

"Michael Jackson will live forever through the thing that he put all of his life energy into: his music. I will do my part to keep the melody alive, to keep the energy forever changing form, but never ever dying. Long live Michael Jackson." — R&B singer Ne-Yo.

___

"This was the most exciting collaboration of my life with a man who has inspired me like no other. ... This was the world's greatest performer and the world will miss him." — Kenny Ortega, who was directing Jackson's upcoming concerts in London and who said he was his friend for 25 years.

___

"He was truly a king, as a dancer, as a singer and we may never, ever see a person of talent like that again." — The Laugh Factory comedy club owner Jamie Masada, who arranged Jackson's introduction to the cancer-stricken 13-year-old boy who later accused the singer of molesting him.

___

"Michael Jackson's accomplished so much that there's not even words to explain what he's done for urban and pop music. Every artist that I personally know has been influenced by him. The world has lost one of the greatest entertainers who shaped many generations and will continue to for years to come." — Motown/pop singer Akon.

___

"When we worked together on `Bad,' I was in awe of his absolute mastery of movement on the one hand, and of the music on the other. Every step he took was absolutely precise and fluid at the same time. It was like watching quicksilver in motion." — Film director Martin Scorsese.

___

"The incomparable Michael Jackson has made a bigger impact on music than any other artist in the history of music. He was magic. He was what we all strive to be. ... I love you Michael." — R&B singer Beyonce Knowles.

___

"From the beginning of my career, he was my idol in show business. ... I had his poster on my wall." — Singer Celine Dion.

___

"Dazed in the studio. A major strand of our cultural DNA has left us. RIP MJ. ... I think we'll mourn his loss as well as the loss of ourselves as children listening to `Thriller' on the record player." — Musician John Mayer, via his Twitter feed.

___

"We are out of our joy. He is out of his pain. ... He was constantly challenged in the press and all he really wanted to be was the greatest entertainer and he was that." — Politician and civil rights activist the Rev. Jesse Jackson, who counseled Michael Jackson at his Neverland ranch while the pop star was defending himself against molestation charges.

"He broke barriers, he changed radio formats. With music, he made it possible for people like Oprah Winfrey and Barack Obama to impact the mainstream world. His legacy is unparalleled." _ Hip-hop artist Usher.

The Paparazzi that caused Princess Diana's death, as it was rumoured, though did not directly, cause MJ's death.. they have brought to his life much pain..

he was quoted as saying : "Just because you read it in a magazine or see it on a TV screen doesn't make it factual. To buy it is to feed it"

It's true, ain't it, that we readers were the one feeding the Paparazzi their Salaries, so they constantly pursue stars to feed our hunger..

To me, we have no right to judge him of his character, cause only bad news is what we commoners want to hear of human's jealously of popular stars... the only person to know his real self can only be his close family..

We can only conclude him for the music, the dance moves he has created for us..

"And my goal in life is to give to the world what i was lucky to receive:the ecstasy of divine union through my music and my dance"

As star Celine Dion phrase it, he's the next Elvis, the huge loss, to the music Industry, the Legend he left behindz..

He remains truly devoted to his music, to his fans despite his low profile, despite all the critics on his bad "news"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3axhIoyaYYo

Had the rehersal for this, taken a toil on his health??

Last but not least: his next following quoted, makes me go: "Awhh... and can almost stir up a person's tears..

"People think they know me, but they don't. Not really. Actually, i am one of the loneliest people here on this earth. i cry sometimes because it hurts. it does. To be honest, i guess you could say that it hurts to be me"

My tribute to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

There are moment of times when problems occur all at once, i will start to question why my life is so tough, so different from the rest...








I was Emo-ing juz after a great bible study, very Ironic i know.. but some events took place after svc tt causes me to think & dwell as i walk back alone from the back of the hall to the Mrt station.. it sounds so pathetic even i am typing it out..




& i begin to question.. thoughts run like crazy in my mind..





"Just what went wrong?"...






"why do i feel i am back to my struggling past"







and like rubbing salt into a wound, it hurts even more as the station were full of groups of pple gathering & chatting away..



That sounds so totally the past me & seriously it can make anyone who's was in my situation to feel Lousy.





I am not doing a self-comparison & i hope that there will be no redundant mindset of others who never been through much in life to judge.









How much is much?


if i were to blog it out 1 a day, think i can blog about it for 365days man..





However, on a Happier note, i am back to my cheerful self, back to my optimisim...


As in previous prev entry, there's an opportunity cost.. i knw by constantly stepping out of my comfort zone, to take on a new job to wanting to score better for studies, to wanting to improve in my sign lang ( in regards to my prev post, yesh, i decide not to give it up no matter how tough it may seems, coz tt's my interest, though it's tiring but i knw i won't be happy if i were to postphone it) and wanting to help out more in cg... taking a new adventure means it definently not comfortable..

but nonethless, i do have my rest day, which is today, juz taking 1 day to slack, to rest & to reflect in order to continue to strive!






"Life is Full of never ending challenges" not a Quote from some famous personality but my own life personal quote..



It's all the matter of the mindset to how one view the challenge:






My first paragraph interprets that i had face it with pessimistic




but



















for the next few paragraphs, it's the contrast..



















So if u ever feel like giving up becoz challenges of life are overwhelming, don't u ever.. coz if a normal person like me who been thru much can overcome it again & again & again & again, so can u.






From being outcast, to extreme low self-esteems, to countless heartaches, broken frenships, broken trust, family to studies to work to financial problems to polictics.. been there, done that...


n somehow i have learnt not to worry coz i am assured tt God will not make me go thru situations that HE knows better is not what HE has intended to be.






Circumstances makes one grow stronger & change for the better..






Juz like last sun, after svc.. i bump into someone i hadn't seen for 3 years, someone who i had once regarded close to my heart, a once close buddy..




Just like someone u haven't seen for years, i wasn't surprised when he forgotten my name...i am glad we manage to catch up a short conversation with him knowing that we are in the same church & he's doing well & looking happy..






It's just amazing, looking back, those years it's so amusing, from Strangers, to Colleagues to Good Buddies to Strangers & now to Acquaintance..

Yet i am thankful & grateful that for the frenship we once had & it applies likewise not only to him but other frenships tt have faded along the yrs..

Cause i had learnt an valuable priceless experience, one that can't be bought with $, one tt can't be learnt be it Oxford, Harvard nor Cambridge Universities..







I guess one thing i learnt is that in life, u gain some, u lose some & guess that's where one learns to be strong & smarter..





Guess S'pore is really such a small country that somehow or rather, if u r like me, missing someone u hadn't seen for years, just wait barhz, it won't be long before u bump into a familiar face..





Just yesterday svc, i had also bump into another fren, we used to be in the same hang out group & we called ourselves, the Left mind-set pples... coz we weren't the usual typical mindset of christians, we Love God but we don't follow the minset nor do the things of a follower in the crowd...










Alas, apparently, this group of frens didn't last long as one by one of us left church, me being the first, followed by my then best fren & her bf.. only 1 remained.. i only found that out after i came back..







& yep, this fren i bump into had also left & came back now tt i see him in church.. didn't got a chance to catch up with him, but am glad now that he's back..








6of us.. 3 left.. 3 of us are back & i could hope for the other 3 in the near future to be back again & maybe we could have a gd old gathering, talking & laughing abt the pasts we once had..

















Back to my Buddy, thinking back, i was a real naive gal back then who believe life was simple, though my life already back then wasn't simple but i had a real simple mind..

















& so this simpleton, tis is what i had decide to label on the past me, so tt i will never be like that again.. only begin to Change & really changed from then, 3 yrs ago when the frenship ended to where i am right now..








Don't understand y a simple frenship could affect so much?







a line that my fren mention summarise it all:

















"It doesn't matter how long the frenship was, what really affects was what we had went thru"

















It was almost a real life drama tt can be written into a plot.. here it goes:

















* Characters names are Ficticious to protect the identities of the person*






Characters involved : Tini , Ion & Dy & Jr





Dy had worked in the group of restaurant years b4 when she was a teenager.. & now that she's in poly, in order to earn extra income, she decide to approach her former manager for a part-time job in the restaurant called LG.

















Dy had always wanted to work in tis Rest. as it seems to her, it's so cool & fun to work in the boat..& being a Waitress seems all so fun..

















Dy is a gal who suffers from poor extreme low self-esteem, she had bucks bunny teeth, small eyes & was very quiet..coz she keeps thinking nobody will listen to her if she speaks...

















but in this rest, she befriended lots of frenship with her colleagues as everyone was so funny & fun-loving & it's was at this time, she befriended T too..










Tini is a gal, who's cute or rather act-cute to all her opposite sex colleagues..& end up making majority of the guy colleagues to fell in luv with her..







Dy & Tini became BFF, sharing each other thoughts about guys & encouraging one another thru heartaches.. cause the silly Dy had fell for T'inis good fren Jr, who's another pt colleague..








Jr is a guy who's aloof or eccentric at times, keeping to himself when emo, a playful one too who likes to "bully" & "teases" all the female colleagues..

















D y naively had a strong one sided crush on Jr & got into constant extreme swings & got even worse when Jr knew abt it frm Tini... cause Jr had begin to treat Dy as Transparent @ work..








During these moment, a new colleague by the name of Ion came in..






Ion was not a pure chinese, he's mixed blood, though not extremely gd looking, he was a fun loving crappy guy who's well like by all his frens n though young, he had a mature mindset, encouraging those around him..

















However, as a typical guy, Ion fell for Tini....

















As Dy knew it, she tried to help Ion and the frenship grew.. coz Tini's her good fren & so she tried to help to bring I & T together...

















Along the way, Dy shared with Ion her probs & heartaches with Jr.. Ion was a great encourager & with him ard, Dy felt so comfortable & felt tt she found a fren who truly understands her & due to Dy's self-esteem, she had no close guy frens coz guys will not want to associate themselves with an unpretty chick even as frens..

















But Ion was different, & Ion treat her as usual & as their other personal probs were similar, Dy became unusually chatty with Ion & they decide to become Arh Buddies..

















Jr somehow too seems to like Tini but Tini had neither feelings for Jr nor Ion but another colleague whom Tini got crazy about.








But Tini had somehow led Ion on, giving him the false hope, making him fell seriously in love with her & Ion had really treated her real nice, all observed by Dy.

















Meanwhile, even out of work, Dy will constantly catch up with Ion thru Msn, & will chat abt everthing abt Tini & Jr..

















Eventually,Tini who's in love with tt colleague begin to give Ion the cold shoulder.. & he had to painfully let go. Dy's was disgusted & decided tt a frenship with Tini's was not worthwhile & decide to ignore her totally at work..

















Dy's was really upset to see her close fren Ion's so hurt, she became to spread word abt Tini's doing to the rest, making everyone almost giving her the likewise cold shoulder & eventually she left..

















A new batch of colleagues came in, & Ion due to his studies begin to work less, but the frenship still maintained & got even closer...

















but all goods things come to an end... Ion enrolled into army & maybe he had sensed Dy's slight feeling for him & he decide to ignore her totally...

















Nonethless, it was Ion's encouragement tt spurs Dy to put on braces & if tis frenship hadn't ended, she would not have learnt so much..

















Sometimes we will only wake up to our senses when we are forced to..

















And the rest is history.....

















Nice teenager story isn't it?

















It's amazing from how then, i decide to grow stronger in God, relying on Him, i had my fair share of trips & falls..

















so within 3 yearss.. i had changed from:

Spotted me? i am in the first row, on the extreme right to:

I won't say that i am a Da Mei Nu, but those years, i kept praying, kept on trying, n kept on changing:

I had only 2 main objectives:

1. i want to be Prettier
2. I want to be Smarter

It's an amazing journey, i know i haven reach the exact destination yet..

but i'm glad i had become prettier & am smarter, graduated with a Diploma & pursuing my Acca and in the Accounts field of work.

What cause the difference between pic 1 & 2??

Nahz, i didn't go for plastic surgery, i wish i had the $ to do so man, i would go for double eye-lids, sharpen my nose & enhance my assets..

the only thing i did was to put on braces.

so $$ invested in saving up for the braces was pretty worthwhile man.. so glad i did!

i used to have those big bucky bucks bunny teeth:

those yrs of not being close to my lips fully was madness..

Those verbal abuse days were so overz..

Ritez now, i juz want to be carefree, successful & happy!

and with guys, i am no longer that silly naive little gal who simply fell for any guys out there, my last failed r/s was the final episode of my stupidity of poor self-esteem.

Along Life's Journey, there are things u eventually got to let go in order to gain something HE has better for u.

We can be too short-sighted at times to truly be patient to see the Long Term plan, God has set for us..

We stumbled & we fall.. we kick our legs on the floor, wondering why HE can't pick us up immediately..

We cried & cried, we cried till our eyes are swollen, we cried to sleep & wonder why HE can't just take away the pain immediately.

We walk alone, we felt so lonely, we felt that there's no one to understand, no one is there to lift a hand to accompany us & we wonder why HE can't immediately take away the silence & tell us an immediate solution..

i am still in the journey to truly understand & appreciate.. no matter how smart we think we maybe or how talented we can get.. there's a God who knows better.

i don't know about u, i used to be someone who doesn't believe either & even in my christian journey, i constantly doubted too.. but HE constantly prove me wrong & change circumstances aroundz..

Will our lips only thank Him when life is good to our own definition? i may not understand y are things happening the way in my life in my job right now but i believe as i hold on, as i remain steadfast.. i will understand it in the near future to come..

i am still in the journey of change..

I Trust & Rely on Him alone.

Buddy, 我还是会对你说：“我还是希望你比我幸福，比我快乐

















Thus, i will live my life to the happiest i can be..

Juz came back from Jing Ying's 21st Birthday Celebration @ East Coast chalet.. it was fun n what stood out from the chalet was live performance by her & her frens.. 2 extremely good dancers n the Birthday gal, dancing n singing..

Yepz, it was indeed funz, guess the Birthday gal truly enjoyed herself.....

Have been pondering.. to those who knows me well should know that giving up rarely appears in my dictionary..

but today it probably will...

i am not giving up on my work neither my studies..

but a possibility of my sign lang..

surprise? i been thinking too.. Sign Lang was what i declared as my passion..

So what cause the change?

Guess it's my competitve nature.. after watching my classmates perform, after observing them communicate in sign.. makes me ponder.. n realised i am far lagging behind them,..

even the least performed classmate had improve tremendosly & me? due to my commitments in my work & studies, i never got much opportunity to practice at home n neither did i get to hang out with them more...


My weakness? i can sign of the words i learnt but when it comes to interpretating the sign lang of my frens n finger spelling is my fatal weakness..

Practice makes perfect i know?

Maybe i am just onloading too much load on myself..

I love my classmates, everyone of them.. frm strangers, all of us became frens when we had attended the first basic level..

giving up would means that i won't be able to meet up with them.. i am in a total Dilemna, i am only human.. can i really perform good @ work, in studies & Sign Lang?


Giving up is a pity.. cause i went thru all the diff levels but how much in the near future can i commit to it?

I am vexed..