Had a rather traumatic experience last night working at Grill..shall not go into details of it as no point re-filling the fears within me..

For the 1st time in my life, i broke down and was in a rather stone stage not wishing to recall of the incident but to just concentrate and do my bar well..

At that moment in time, i had kind of whallop in self-pity..so wanted everyone to stop work and just console me wanting someone to give me a hug & comforting me..it didn't happen,everyone was just busy..

Sam like a father, keep asking me to go home and rest and suggest to face up to the incident but i simply refuse to..

Can't believe on the same day.. i lose my tub top as well causing me to once again entertaining the fear within me and sitting down in a daze when i was ask to go home at 11pm.. seeing such a me, once again not willing to go home and move.. Sam had no choice but to relent and told me to change back and continue working...

Thinking back...it seems such a joke..what was i thinking..

I only manage to resume to my normal state when it was closing time as Desmond & Alvin conclude that all i had seen was just my illusion and nothing but an illusion as Des had went down to take the Napkins walk through the dungeon and seen nothing...

At that moment, i seem to behave so un-christian like.. God..help my fears..

When we were about to have our supper, Norin & Lihao came after having their dinner at Amalfi and gave their delicious cakes for us to share..so sweet of them indeedz.. fixed an appointment with them to go K box and Brewkz next month..

Was rather high on alcohol by the Logan Martini that Alvin had make that almost everyone was rather convinced that i was drunk and i seriously i wasn't.. i was just really high and "happy"...talking nounsense & laughing away though.. No i wasn't particularly upset, just tt i luv to drink corktail but not a gd drinker...

Alcohol only make your "happiness" temporary..it's not what pple so call an escape to their problems.. to which i recall knowing that 1 colleague tt i know in order to run away from problems had resort to drinking self-inflicting pain and smoking.. what a silly fool.. how i wish i can be of a help to this colleague, letting tis person knw tt there's a hope in everything situation.. to just be a listener & a fren..

On the way to work today, was reading this book by Joyce Meyer called "battlefield of the Mind"

And this particular chapter struck me of yest incident: "Self-pity"

Some lines to share:

"All you need to do is to listen to the thoughts rushing into your mind during such times and you will quickly realise how self-pity keep us in bondage"

"There is a true gift of Compassion,which is having Godly pity towards others who are hurting and spending our life relieving their suffering. BUt Self-pity is perveted, because it is taking something that God intended to be given to others & turning in on ourselves."

"Self-pity is supported by thinking only of us and no one else"

"It is amazing how easy it is to stay out of self-pity if we look at the other person side and not just on our own"

Truely.. i fall into this category many atimes...just like yesterday... in which i had mentioned above.. i could have just continue working & to stop thinking but instead i decide to sit down dwelling over it again & again and even getting upset over the fact tt no one cld just give me the attention that i wanted.. which is rather silly seriously..

Next time, when such thoughts fill my mind again, gonna pick myself up fast and do some happy stuff..

There's this chinese linein a childhood song: "..zhi ji tie dao, zhi ji pa" (translated as when u fall, u just got to pick yrself up)

Got to go to Grill and work.. Next morning got to crawl up of bed early to study for my Tuesday Performance Management Test..suppose to study today...but oh well..

Oprah's Gospel Brunch with the Legends

Oprah's Gospel Brunch with the Legends

Saw the above Video from my Fren's blog and decide to post it up insteadz.. it's a good one esp for Christians.. got quite a few familiar faces in it.

What goes through your mind first when u have a close shave with death..









On the way to office, while crossing the traffic light at City hall, as i was about to cross, firstly almost got hit by a man on the bicycle which caught my attention and before i know it, the bus driver accidentally step on his accelerator and move forward an inch only to stop in time...









I wasn't the only one who got a shock , there was another lady who walked a step in front of me and we stared at the driver, who apparently himself was stunned by his own action as he look out of the window..nope he did not apologise..









Overheard as the pedestrian who cross the opposite way a pass by me and said to her friend:"Did you see that, the bus suddenly move forward."









.......









Initially the only thing that cross my mind was a sigh of relief... but as i ponder about it, fear begin to fill up my mind..









What would have happened if the driver had stepped on his accelerator harder..









If i were hit, guess the greatest worry about leaving this earth is my mum, who's going to take care of her...









Oh well.. i shall not be so negative.. but the thought of escaping death at a spilt second does make me tremble... and totally distracted in concentrating on work..thus decide to blog it out and taking this time to cool myself downz..









Thank God for His Protection!!!









So Treasure the One whom you valued the most..









Joke of the incident: "Never have too much faith in the little green man "









On a Happier Note:









i receive my Certificate for Completing my DCCL last sun...

Finally the first step in my desire in learning Sign Languages, it's a pretty interesting one esp the

conductor of it makes the lesson a fun one to attend. So far have mange to learn the alphabets, numbers and basic greetings.

The next Course commences next month and it teaches more in depth of the different Sign Language and from this course onwards, at the end of it, got to pass the test in order to obtain each level certificate.

Facts:

Don't call the deaf, "Dumb & Mute".. the deaf are only hearing impaired, they basically can speak..

They understand your communication either by Sign Language or lip-reading..

They are not short-changed of life aspects, they lead a normal life like any individuals, going to clubs, dancing, bowling & etc..

Parents with Hearing impaired children should not treat them as Mentally impaired or a outcast of society, got to know of this sad fact from a classmates of mine, she's a volunteer of The Singapore Association for the Deaf.. there's only current 30 kids attending the school..and mostly are kids from Pakistan and etc..

SO which mean..it's either there are very few Deaf kids in Singapore or parents of these kids love their own face so much that they are not willing to accept their children are different and without consulting or thinking about their feelings and send them to a mainstream school.

There's nothing wrong with sending them to a mainstream school as there are many successful Hearing Impaired adults who graduate from there... however, everyone absorb differently.

Not all schools have teachers who knows sign-language.. and forcefully make them accept their short-comings and having a probability of getting outcast is not a good growing up childhood memory for them.

Sighz.. the thoughts of self-fish parents make me fed-up..

right now, whenever i am free, will try to practice the sign lanuguages.. not wanting to forget any one of it and most ultimately i aim to be a volunteer in either this school or be in the Ministry of Hearing Imparied in CHC.

Aiming to complete the full course by the end of the year.

Got to live my life not only for myself but also to be a blessing onto others..

Before Jan ends, got to blog down my resolutions/goals for this year:

1. To pass & score well for my 4 ACCA Papers this year.

2. To learn & finish all sign languages courses.

3. To excel at work.

4. Take up kick boxing or related exercise later half of the yr with my cousin

5. Learn swimming & cycling from June onwards..

6. To go for Holiday @ nearby countries with friends..

Shall add on if i plan to do anything new...

Last sat met up with Sotong family to have our yearly steamboat @ Auntie Mary house, arrived there late as i went to the office in the morning..upon reaching Senja LRT station, walked for almost 10 mins and couldn't find the block and decided to board a cab instead.. and guess what, the cab driver told me that the block is just 5 mins walk, ''-_-.. neverthless he drove me outside the block and i paid $2.80.. a nice cab uncle i must say cause the actual meter costs was $3plus.. and which cab uncle would bother about to drive a customer in which he could earn minimum amount from the boarding fees.

On reaching, the rest have already begun eating..wanted to post the food pictures but i only realised i plan to take photos of the untouched food until i have finish eating.. food is just such a temptation..

Auntie Mary as usual was so hospitable, continously topping up our soup and drinks.. and we have our much belated christmas gift exchange.. i Received from Maggie a Forever Friend Accessories Box, Vivien got a massenger, Mei Qi received a USB-port Aromatheraphy, Maggie-a pair of weekend tickets @ Cathay-a gift that i bought. We shared and bought a box of Bird Nest and 2 bottle of wines for Auntie Mary.

*absence in family: Shirley.. (P/s: gal if u read this post, maggie got for you a gift, it's with Auntie Mary)

We chatted and watch Tv @ her house till 5 plus 6.. and during this time as we plan to travel down to Brewkz to have our dinner and drink, we decide to jio some khakis along.. but only to be disappointed by Kent and Desmond..in which they owe us a treats.. next outing,drink is on u guys..

Before making our way down, we stop @ a pub along somerset by the name of No.5.. quite a good ambience pub with 2 storeys..a recommended place to hang out with friends.. planned to have my birthday celebration over there.

Final destination of Sat Night: Brewkz.. Quite a spacious place, Main courses and deserts was delicious.. their own brewed beer was nice,though i only drink a few sips due to don wish to drink too much.. thanks to Mei Qi with her staff discount of 50%, the meal was affordable..a good place to dine and drink with friends too..

Summary: It was a great day of laughter, hanging out, eating and drinking with them.. *5 star of enjoyment.

Oh well..it's time for me to touch my rusty blog once againz...

It's back to studying again after resting for half a year..

And everything oh well was messy & as usual i was a Blur Sotong..

Firstly, on realising i have not collected my textbook, i called up the school as to where is the venue i should collect from.

At around 6pm, watching as time pass by, i was basically rushing my work finish, pass by Grill & Amalfi to pass the relevant documents and rushing off in a panic as the supposedly collection point is SAA new City Campus located at Raffles Place beside Lau Pa Sat.. imagine the distance i have to walk.. i was panting like no body business on reaching... only to realise... the textbook are not available and all i need for my lessons are notes that would be distributed @ the lecture.

Thus, i have to take another bus to Tanjong Pagar @ Capital Tower for the lessons.. As it was my first place reaching there, i was kind of lost & unsure of bus to take and on boarding, all i bothered to ask was wherether it is the correct bus and somehow i walk towards the passenger seat and imagine my embrassement when the uncle ask me to Tap my EZ link.. sigh..

After walking & being lost for around 45 mins, i finally found the place.. Phew..

Conclusion: Almost fell asleep during the lesson 7 many atimes feel tempted to put my legs on the head of the seat in front due to the comfortness of sitting in a sofa..lecturer initially was boring but near towards the end, the illustration he gives get more & more interesting and overall give a clear understanding of taxation...

So it's gonna be studying all the way till May every Tuesday & Thursday..

Looking forward to tomorrow gathering with my Sotongs and going over to Mei Qi workplace to eat again in the evening and meeting Serene next Wed and meeting my group of close frens frm my prev cg next Sat evening..

Gonna update over here my resolutions for 2008 and the above events.


Sometimes it's so much better to have a simple life..
I detest the way i am @ work, having to be aggressive & demanding to get things done..
being too soft & innocent will only makes things worse..
Student life is still the best...

Posted this question on my FaceBook:

"We humans always feel that the grass is greener on the other side,some regret in leaving the former. If u belong to the category, would you return back to the former,chose to stay or move on to a new side of "grass".

So much have been happening over at my work place. Learnt on Sunday among the part-timers that a group of them plan to quit soon. Have a chat with them and below were their reasons for leaving:

1. Pay is low, elsewhere is paying much better
2.Tips is pathetic,elsewhere gets daily tips
3.lack of staff makes them do double job
4.Most chose not to do closing leaving them only to do everything.
5.Staff Meal is lousy,always the same food everyday.

Sometimes hanging out with them makes me feel that they still have a long way to go. I am not trying to prove anything though.
Example:"Aiyah, we all leave already, lotus can close down".

Somehow i couldn't be a listener and basically do nothing about it, true, i agree that my current workplace exists a lot of problems.
At times, i do wish i can be like them, not happy then move on to a new place.
For one,i am a full time working adult and my responsibility is there and it would make me a job-hopper making my dream drift further apart.

I am not against those who left and who plan to leave. For indeed to some,it's better for them to move on in order to have a better future. Just like Lao San, i was so happy for her that she move on from Lotus to another new work place that pay higher and much much better benefits. Staying at Lotus would only be a waste of her youth and knowledge.

At the end of the day,it's the attitude and purpose of leaving.

Have a chat with Sam Yesterday and informed him all that i know..and truely from the conversation we had, i could only conclude he indeed is a man of wisdom and experiences. Such talk is what i would call Quality conversations.

He went on to mention that the purpose of not rising certain staff pay is due to their attitude of work and for some, the schedule per week is pathetic.

It's a Principle of Give & Take. They want higher salary, they have to prove they are worth the price. A certain staff can work for years but what he can give is one day per week and whenever there are short of staff, he never stayed to help. Is such a staff worth the pay rise then?

It's true that certain staff can work and have good attitudes,but back to the same question, if all they can give is 2 days per week and can't help out when the restaurant needs them and have a habit of cancelling schedule last min.

Everyone for himself is the centre of this problem. They have their own definition of working hard and exhausted due to work and if everyone with this defintion use it to ask for pay rise, there be no end to it. Afterall, we are all but just a small scale operation in comparison to the other place. There's a limit to which we could pay.

The above 3 paragraphs are a summary of what Sam mentioned which indeed is true. He valued the staff and if possible, he don't wish to lose them either. But there's a limit to what he can give.
Even if he did provide the requests, other problems rise too, the other restaurant staff reaction upon hearing pay rise..

We went on to discuss on other issues such as Tips and Staff meal and etc and etc..Issues arises with each new topic.

It's rather tough to be a Restaurant Manager, though i may not 100% agree with his reply but when an answer is logical what can one says.

At the end of the day, we can either chose to take it or leave it.

I could blog all these out is because he told me to pass down the message to the rest of the part-timers. I would try, however, if they are rather stubborn or refuse to listen, i can't do anything either.

Conclusion is: It's true this restaurants has it own faults and on one look, the disadvantages outweights the advantages. There are better restaurants out there who indeed have better benefits and Management..i do agree.. i am rather neutral..afterall i don plan to stay in this restaurant and only upon the below situation would i step out of Lotus permanently:

1. Lotus Grill due to the new reservior is resized to a smaller scale,without any Tongkangs.
2. When i feel i have no more room for improvement and that i have grown to my comfort zone.Mininmum: 1 year.

There are no perfect workplace just like this world,it's not perfect. It's how we make the best out of what we have.

Other then work, things are working rather well, esp with my walk with God.

Congrats to Royston who just msg me that he got his driving licence, indeed things are getting better and better on his side, from getting his desired course to getting attached to getting what he plan to achieve..i know he is moving from glory to glory..afterall he deserves it, this path of life was not easy for him..neverthless with a great attitude,he's positive and grew stronger. Looking back, this friend of mine change a lot, and definently it means for the better and wiser..
This good friend has always been my source of inspiration, i shall not lose out to him either.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN DAY!

How did Halloween got Started??

"halloween has a had a long and colorful history. but its origins

date back to the celts almost 2000 years ago. the original name was

samhain (pronounced 'sow' 'win') which means summeres end. the

Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary

between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On

the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was

believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. Fires were

lit to honor the descending sun god. On the eve of Samhain, the

gates of the Abyss were unlocked and spirits from below flew free.

Human souls that had been trapped in the bodies of animals were

released by the Lord of the Dead and sent to their new

incarnations.

In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought

that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for

the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the

future.

With the coming of Christianity in the 800s AD, the early Church in

England tried to Christianize the old Celtic festivals.

Pope Boniface IV designated the 1st of November as "All Saints Day," honoring saints and martyrs.

He also decreed October 31 as "All Hallows Eve" and eventually

Hallow'een."Dressing up" for Halloween gets it roots from dressing

up around the sacred bonfire during the original Celtic festival.

Some suggest, this practice originates from England, when it was

believed that ghosts came back to the earthly world on Halloween.

People thought that they would encounter ghosts if they left their

homes, so to avoid being recognized people would wear masks after

dark so that the ghosts would mistake them for fellow

spirits.

Trick-or-treating" is a modern American tradition that probably finds it's roots in the early All Souls' Day parades in England. During the festivities, poor citizens would beg for food and families would give them pastries called "soul cakes" in return for their promise to pray for the family's dead relatives.Jack-o-lanterns originated from the custom of lighting candles for the dead to follow as they walk the earth

How Interesting.. In summary, it's like the English Version of our Chinese 7th Month.

Though today is not the actual day, yet today everywhere people are celebrating it as on the day itself, everyone would be working away.

Tonight esp at Clarke Quay, things are gonna get fun.. passerbys are dressing up:

It's one of those occassions whereby Singaporeans shed off their boring image.

Restaurants and clubs are highlighting the event.

Just passed by MOS and they have decorated the building to a Ghost House:

Too bad, i am using a lousy phone with a lousy Camera.. if not i would be taking pictures of it and upload it here.

Hooters is not losing out either:

Though it seems funny somehow.

TCC is not losing out either:

and so many more pubs @ the Cannery.

What a happening place to work at Clarke Quay all of a sudden.

As for Grill..

Oh well..

It would be a normal working day for us.. but.. with a bit of fun..if everything goes smoothly.

Last night, as i was working @ Boat 1 saw a few customers of Hooters wearing the Devil's horn..and a guy selling the horn. I am calling him the Horn Seller..

As Sam called me to go inside the Bar and help out Mei Qi, i cheekily asked him to let us wear the horn for tomorrow...and like a little kid i was like "Wo Yao the horn"(to those who are reading this,Sam is like our Daddy of Grill,and oh well, i can't help but to talk to him like a child asking his dad to buy something). As usual he gave me the -_- look and i have no choice but to walk away.

Just as i was chatting with Mei qi over the horn, Sam called me out, the horn seller beside him..keke.. then he ask me "i want ah?" Obviously i knodded my head and the conclusion is that he bought 2 horns, 1 for Mei Qi and 1 for me.

But sadly, the horns wasn't working, i gave the horn seller mine and ask me to come down later to pass me a new one 2PM, hope he's not going to disappoint me.

As for Mei Qi's one, hers light had stop shinning and we are determined to find the Horn seller..

And the latest being, if the horn Seller turn up, Sam is going to get one horn each for all those who's working later..

So if everything turns up well.. will post up a group picture of us with the horns..

That's all.