And off goes the Accumulating Dusts

Haven't touch this blog for years.. every time that i want to start on something, the inspiration to continue faded away before i could even finish the first paragraph.

The best thing about blogs is that i can always retrieve back my old entries as and whenever my memory starts to fail me.

Just like when someone breach the topic of when was my last relationship, the words always get stuck in my throat.. "Was it year 2010?" "2009?...  And automatically, i will check out this blog to retrieve back the exact year... Year 2008!!

Damn it, that's seriously pathetic..

Over the years, that was a lot of "what ifs" and "almost"... Till the point, that one of my good friend even said, " I seriously don know what's wrong with you, as in how your relationship with a guy can never get started."

Hah...

I mean seriously, if i was Fugly then i would just happily accept the fact that i will never fall in love. But the truth, it ain't that case, i mean my past 2 relationships was those days i seriously was worst off then now..

And then there was 1 to 2 nice guys but but... simply someone i won't like, I may not exactly know what are my kind of guys but i am pretty certain of the guys that i won't fall for.

Enough about Guys.. i spend half a decade of my half getting upset over guys.. and there will come a point in your life that one would say enough is enough. I would swallow it that i am just simply being too picky and knowing too well what i do not want and will never settle down for less nor just settle for the sake of Society.

The next time round, someone asked why am i still single, i will let my 3rd finger do the talking..geddit.

Ahh... on to another repetitive subject that is constantly mentioned.. can't believe i am still studying..

3 more papers to go and i just can't wait to clear it!

Shall end it off here..

27/11:

在等待的简讯却迟迟没等到。。电话响了，关心我的他跟他同名却不是同一个人。。

 

28/11: 

Friendship isn't about the Quantity... Every individual frens matters a lot & is truly cherished. =) If i say, every lost frenship equals to teardrops, i'm not being exaggerating.

 

This blog shall be my bank of thoughts, what's i posted in Facebook, will all be stored here..

25/11/10 

When things does not run smooth or life seems crazy, i don't term it as a bad day or life sucks but Rather it's e Time for Experience Accumulating/Character Moulding! =)

 

 

A Love Fool

Based on the title.. i'm here to shout out my Inner Feelings once again..

Met this guy which my leader & my members strongly recommended..

It's all started during a particular cg day where they celebrated my Belated Birthday...

Where our ever Fun embracing, Happening leader Bernard randomly throws a question wherether am i open for recommendation to guys..

All in the name of fun without serious thinking: "Yeah, why not? Bring it On"

This guy.. his name was mentioned years back.. when my then cg member introduced to Joyce,Sabrina & me his younger brother.. and our first thought was.. "Why do the both of you look so different??"

It was a hasty introduction and my only recollections was that he mentioned his then leader was Bernard, the actor from Drama ministry(my current leader)..

Saw him again when he joined us during our Timbre outing after steamboat dinner.. didn't really pay much attention to this quiet guy sitting in the corner..

And after i took up the challenge, my two fellow members whom i am closer to..kept the teasing non-stop.. again & again..

"stop mentioning his name.. what happens if i really like him??"

He almost joined us two weeks before for the dinner at Namsuk's house.. so everytime without fail, i would be informed beforehand that he be joining in though in the end, he always have something on..

So imagine my shock.. when i went to cg last thurs..was late due to registration to Acca.. opened the door, placed down my bag.. & there he was...

*Awkardness was in the air"

Bernard to him: "..... ya know why u are in this cg today.. "

them to me (while on the way to Clarke Quay) : "..... go sit in his bike.."

''- -

It was only after Justina's assuring words "just treat him like a friend.. he's nice as a friend" that i begin to loosen things down.

and yeah.. i took the initiative to speak to him during dinner though i kept stammering..

Things begin to improve only when we proceed to Chupitos for some shots & Beer & subsequently to Rebel..

We danced.. and more communication follows.. feel at ease & comfortable chatting with him...

Before he could speak while leaving the club, he was "assigned" to send me back home even though he live in Queenstown.. and out of the club.. i was back to my Ostrich nature.. too shy..

Love the Breeze while sitting on the Motor bike.. though i was really super clumsy.. getting on & off the bike & even asked silly question on how to put on the helmet..

Thought that was it.. when he send me home.. we spoke a bit when i got off.. mentioned that i knew his brother and he looked shock.. silence subsequently followed and we bid farewell..

So Could that be all? he didn't asked me for my hp no.. only i did asked him for his facebook..

I was thrilled when he send me a facebook msg and we exchanged conversations till Sat night and silence encompassed the Facebook inbox till then..

I would rather choose to believe that he's busy than to accept that he's just not into me.. =(

Met up a few different guys this whole year..

There was Jack.. whom i only hanged out once..Quite a nice guy just that i got too caught up with my work..that he decide to label me as a Busy gal who had no time for anything else.. and he subsequently got attached.

There was Chee Wei.. this super nice guy who gave in to me.. one that never fails to send me morning & night greetings.. at first it was sweet.. Hanged out for 4 times..
Remembered what i love to eat, what school i attended & even accompanied me when i was bored and needed company..watched Movie.. showed concern when my dad was hospitalised..a very accomodating guy i must say.... it all ended when he WhatApps me to become his gf.. *faintz*
not because of his insincerity.. he did try calling but i refused to pick up the call.. he's just not for me.. a Friend & probably a good Husband Material but i'm just the Bad Girl Material who doesn't like Too Nice Guys..Prefer someone who embraces Fun as much as i do.

And there was him.. it's simply ridiculous but i am already missing him since last Thurs.. the message has stopped.. Maybe he's just not into me.. Maybe i am not his type of gf material..

As much as i'm delighted to receive the good news that i was selected for the Sign Lang Interpretator.. but deep down inside.. i would be Happier if i were to receive his msg..

Can u believe it? Such thoughts are for Xiao Nu Ren.. don't i love to climb the corporate ladder..accomplished as much as i can.. but to think that my thoughts actually planned to settle down for an average kind of life to be with a guy like him.

For the very first time.. that i'm actually having such thoughts.. *slap myself awake*

And after such a long time.. i actually want to start dating again.

To God,: "why the guys that are interested in me, i am not keen to date them and the guys that i'm interested in are not keen to date me??"



*Praying & Trusting God for the right one*

It's been a 13 years walk.. 

Started with baby steps..

He was there watching..

Guiding me...

But as i grew older..took the wrong step too many a times..

It was either HIS way or the wrong way..

Following HIM & simply 

Obeying seems like a difficult 

task..

The Temptation ahead seems too great for me to simply take the narrow path by Faith..

Life as a Christian ain't no bed of roses.. but being a non-christian helps no either..or rather it would be worst.


I'm taking my baby steps once again.. to stir up the Faith and to take up the Cross..


Many thanks to Wendy, one of the volunteer in THM, whom testimonial stirred me up.. 


A woman of Faith is what she is.. =)

Am seriously cutting down on my Digression and Focus on doing what i should be doing and to really learn to control my Emotions by not letting it affect my daily life and what i should be Pursuing..

Gonna be my first longgggggggg awaited Song Signing for Service this coming Sat, 19 Sep 2010 at Expo Hall Service 2!!

What comes easy for other seems to be a longer route that i have to take:

As such.. began by logging online to watch 530 Expo service and practice.. followed by previous services..

And what else can work best when u wanna watch examples of Song Signing:

 lady in the video is pretty amazing..she's a hearing and so are her parents.. Learning ASL was part of her module and with this passion in mind, she's now a Deaf Educator.

This is my favourite of all times:

The reason she stand out, in my own personal opinion is her fluency of ASL and Expression that says it all..

You can check out her profile on the following:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ally-ASL/207129801391?ref=ts&v=wall#!/pages/Ally-ASL/207129801391?v=wall&ref=ts

and her interview:

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/rocks/2010/06/words_without_songs_making_mus.php?page=2

Talking about being passionate is what she lives out. =)

She's my Inspiration..that someday to really sign as beautiful as her.

Lord, preserve my life.. I still want to hold on so I can in e near future switch my career to
Counselling.. And make my life more purposeful & of meaning to others! :)

他喜欢她，她却依旧喜欢他，但他喜欢的是另一个她。。。